Baby Blues
by Misty-Kid
Summary: This is an AU fic my own interpretation of events in the Cohen household. Ryan is born to the Cohen’s how will Sandy and Kirsten cope with two newborns?
1. What the Stork Brought

**Baby Blues**

_A/N; I know that all you readers out there were hoping that this would be an update of 'A Series of Bad Decisions' but as you can see it is not. Sadly I have hit a brick wall on that story and no more inspiration has reached me. I hope that this story keeps my fans happy – I particularly enjoyed writing it._

_It must be said that as this story has never happened in the show it is all my own interpretation, my opinion on what I think life would be like._

_Disclaimer; I own nothing to do with The O.C all the characters belong to the wonderful writers on the show._

* * *

The newly wed Kirsten Cohen sat on the cracked toilet seat, nervously twiddling with her wedding rings as she waited with bated breath for the continual pounding in her rounded stomach to cease. 

Her two babies had begun their game a few hours earlier and had refused to stop since. Each taking turns to torment their mother, waiting for the other to stop kicking before taking over the relentless motion.

When Kirsten had first found out she was pregnant she had panicked, they hadn't even reached their one month anniversary yet and already she had to tell Sandy she was pregnant. She hoped he would be happy but there was so much else to consider; they were both still in college, they lived in the back of a mail truck, had no experience of children and there was still the problem of her father. Ever since the day she had introduced Sandy to her dad they had been at loggerheads, her father had done everything in his power to break the two up but he hadn't succeeded.

Which was exactly why she was now sitting in a leaking old bathroom with hundred year old paint pealing from its walls as her unborn children played football with her bladder.

Sandy had, as was expected, taken the news well – in fact well was somewhat of an understatement. He had spun Kirsten around in his arms and then proceeded to tell anybody and everybody he met that he was going to become a father.

Kirsten had been ecstatic at his response but soon the conversation turned to the more serious aspects of the pregnancy; the money, their education, their living conditions the list went on and on. Reluctantly they sold the converted mail truck on to a young freshman couple who had recently started at Berkley, they thought it fitting that the tradition was continued. They sold off anything of any value and looked for a small place near to the campus, some of the places they had seen in their price range where not only small but microscopic. There was little room for Sandy and Kirsten never mind a new baby so grudgingly they had called in Caleb, Sandy had been none to pleased at 'crawling' to Kirsten's father for a hand out but it couldn't be helped.

A short time later they moved into a modest house on the outskirts of the campus, it was rundown and needed a lot of work but Kirsten had fallen in love with it the minute she saw it. She had stood on the patchy front lawn and imagined her baby running through the grass as Sandy chased him or her, she would be watching from the little bench below the lounge window sketching a portrait of her family.

However these plans had been shattered not long after, when a visit to the doctor had shown that not only was Kirsten definitely pregnant that she was in fact expecting twins. Sandy had repeated his performance from weeks earlier when he enveloped Kirsten in a crushing hug and sat twitching from the excitement. They had been briefed on all the differences a double pregnancy carried with it but their delight couldn't be concealed as they prepared to welcome two babies into the world instead of one.

The excitement had, however, been short lived on Kirsten's part as the double morning sickness hit her body full force. She spent her mornings in the bathroom, perched close to the toilet in case of another attack while Sandy bustled around her preparing to leave for his lectures. He had remained upbeat in the mornings until a particularly rough day when Kirsten had nearly choked him when he wished her good luck on his way out the door. From then on in he had merely gone about his business silently leaving her to glower at him from the corner.

They had begun gathering everything for the babies together after that, buying what they could when they could. Of course there had been the amazing wave of gifts from family and friends in the initial few months so the tiny little box room was packed with baby clothes and miscellaneous baby necessities. Kirsten had spent the early months splitting her time between her degree and painting the little room so it was just the way she wanted it.

She was broken out of her thoughts by a particularly vicious thump to her upper left abdomen groaning she reached down and rubbed the spot trying to settle the acrobatic babies within her.

"Hey baby, rough night?" Sandy's arms encircled her shoulders hands gently lacing into hers as his chin came to rest on her tousled hair.

"Hmmm." Was all the reply she offered as she closed her eyes basking in his comfort.

Removing a stray lock of hair from her face Sandy whispered in her ear, "Come back to bed honey, I'm awake now."

Leading her back down the narrow dimly light corridor he guided her to the bed, wrapping his arms and the blankets securely around her. She sighed deeply burying her head into Sandy's chest letting him know that the kicking was still continuing, he placed his hands upon her expanded belly and began to rub gently soothing his unborn children.

"You know we should really start thinking about names." They had tried to approach this subject several times before but it had always descended into arguments.

Kirsten smiled into her husbands shoulder knowing exactly how this discussion would end, she thought she would have some fun with him first.

"I told you Sandy; Pippa and Grace."

"Umm okay but as the father I have to ask, when was this decided?" He chuckled slightly and turned his cheek onto Kirsten's head allowing him to speak without her blonde locks getting in the way.

"I decided a few days ago, you know that night when you were out with Steve and Graeme." She grunted slightly toward the end to show her annoyance.

"Oh so that's my punishment is it? Just because I can go out and drink I'm not allowed to name my own children."

"Who said they were yours?" Kirsten giggled as she felt Sandy gasp beneath her then flick at her fingers in mock annoyance.

"So you really think they're both going to be girls?" Sandy continued on but then added quietly, "That was me ignoring you by the way."

Kirsten grinned at her husband, his soothing motions having settled the babies down, "Yeah I do, most of the stuff in their room is for girls anyway."

"Only because you bought it all." He chuckled remembering a weighed down Kirsten returning home with every white and green item of clothing the baby shops had, stating they were 'neutral' colours. "Oh so that's why there's a little stash of pink and yellow sleepers hidden under the stack of nappies?" He questioned innocently noting his wife's look of horror that her secret had been discovered.

"You just want boys so they can follow in you self-righteous footsteps." She snuggled closer to him to make it clear she was only teasing. "So what did you have in mind then?"

"Ezekiel."

Kirsten choked and began to giggle furiously.

"What? What's wrong with that? It's a good strong Jewish name." Sandy bit back wounded by the laughter.

"Exactly Sandy. I'm not calling my son 'Ezekiel' just to please your mother."

"What about me? I like it." Kirsten merely raised her brow at him and he crumbled, "Okay well yeah maybe it's a little out there and maybe Ma did suggest it…" He tailed off knowing he had lost that battle.

"Come on what else do _you_ like." She questioned on looking for a serious answer.

"Zain, Aaron or Jacob…something like that." Sandy's voice dropped with each name as he saw Kirsten's face pull into a bewildered expression. "You know I haven't really though about it that much."

Kirsten felt guilty for dismissing his names so quickly, "No honey there great it's just…"

"…you don't like any of them?" Sandy finished for her.

"Maybe we could compromise? They could be their middle names or something?"

"So what do you like then, I mean apart from Pippa and Grace?"

"I don't know I've only really thought about girl's names, those two are definitely my favourites." Kirsten paused for moment thinking for the first time about boy's names for her babies. "I like Matthew."

Sandy snorted from below her and she looked up quizzically at him, "Fourth grade new boy - use to pick his nose."

Kirsten grinned as Sandy pulled a face; that was Matthew out the window. They lay in silence for a while each mentally running through all the names they liked checking them off against people from their past to ensure they didn't raise a nose picking or pigtail pulling child.

Sandy took a deep breath and Kirsten knew he had come up with a new name for her to bat down, "I like Seth…I use to have this teacher, for my bar mitzvah training, he was so pernickety and he made us learn as many details as we could. He tried to catch me out with a question about Adams' sons but I knew the answer, his face was a picture."

Kirsten jutted her jaw and chewed her lip, "Seth…Seth…Seth Cohen…you know what honey that's not so bad."

"Seth _Ezekiel_ Cohen honey." Sandy prodded, "Okay one down one to go…"

"Uh one down three to go..." Kirsten interjected, she laughed when Sandy put his hands up in front of his face and pretended to count.

"How many babies were you planning on having again sweetie?"

"God Sandy you really are slow sometimes…" She paused hoping he would click on but she would be waiting a while. "We need four names because we could have two boys or two girls."

Sandy seemed to ponder this for a moment and then added, "So what do we do if we have a boy and a girl?"

Kirsten reached for the nearest pillow and proceeded to beat Sandy all over as he laughed and tickled her.

* * *

Well that's chapter one folks - what did you all think? Should I continue on? Be warned I will be tormenting the Cohens in the future chapters. 

Review and let me know your thoughts!


	2. Trouble In Paradise

**Trouble in Paradise **

ARRRGH apologise to all - my computer had a huge meltdown!

A/N; well here is chapter two – this one gets a little more complex and as I am not a doctor I apologise for any inaccuracies. Apologises also for the long wait; my computer had a major meltdown recently and I lost touch with the fan fiction world.

Thanks to all those who reviewed the first chapter – your words were worth a lot, taking the time to comment on my writing means a lot.

Anyway I hope you enjoy chapter two and all review once again – we kick the drama up a notch in this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

The pain she was experiencing now was unlike any other she had felt through out her pregnancy. The short stabbing pains had been getting progressively worse all day, she was beginning to worry. Sandy was still on campus, he had a study group after one of his lectures – Kirsten had been pottering around at home trying to keep herself occupied. 

Dropping down onto the ragged sofa she inhaled deeply running a hand across her ever expanding stomach.

"What's going on today huh babies? You're awful restless."

She reached forward to the small coffee table, twisting around to allow the chair to take the strain of her weight. Searching through the index she flipped open the baby book to the chapter on Braxton Hicks. She had taken the time to have many lengthy discussions with her mother and midwife about the birth and contractions as they were what scared her the most.

Kirsten would be the first person to admit that she did not have a high pain threshold. In fact Sandy often teased her about her ability to "scream as if she was being brutally murdered" when she had merely caught her finger in the bathroom cabinet door.

As she skimmed through the paragraphs looking for any form of relied a particularly vicious pain made her groan and grip the cushion beneath her.

Panic had well and truly set in.

She blindly searched for the phone which had lodged itself under a pile of papers cluttering up the table. Still clutching the cushion she hit the second button listening as the speed dial kicked in, praying her mothers' voice would meet her at the other end.

"Hello Anne Nichol speaking."

"…Mom..." It was all she could muster between whimpers; her stomach was in knots and the pain in her back immense.

"Kirsten? Sweetie what's wrong?" Her mothers' voice had taken on a worried edge as she pushed the phone closer to her ear listening to ever wounded sound her daughter made.

"Mom…something's wrong…it hurts Mom…" Kirsten could merely murmur through the tears.

"Sweetie where's Sandy?" Kirsten thought that was a very good question to be asking. Where was her husband while she lay here in pain? He should be here with her to look after her and their children.

"Out…" Kirsten drew in a shaky breath and continued on, "Mom it hurts so bad…what if something happens to them?"

Anne cut her off before she could add another word, "Kirsten honey listen to me…I need you to calm down okay nothing is going to happen tot eh babies okay?"

Kirsten stayed quiet at the other end.

"I need you to stay calm and phone for an ambulance okay?"

"Ambulance? No…no it's okay…I'm okay…"

"Listen to me Kirsten you need to be checked out okay...if you're hurting…just to be sure. When we hang up you call for an ambulance and I'll get straight in the car and meet you had the hospital okay? I'll be right there for you darling I promise you won't be alone."

Kirsten sniffed and tried to settle her nerves.

"'Kay" was all she managed before the dial tone met her at the other end.

Knowing her mother would never break a promise to her she dialled 911.

* * *

Sandy ran through floods of people, not caring who he pushed by to get to the front desk. 

He had been walking home through the campus when he had met a neighbour of theirs, a very rushed conversation between the two had led to Sandy jumping in the nearest available taxi.

Every possible scenario ran through his head as they made the agonisingly slow journey to the hospital – was it the babies or Kirsten? Sandy had hoped that Kirsten had merely phoned the ambulance for Mrs. Cassidy from next door and elderly lady who had heart problems.

Shoving a slightly miffed woman with a grazed forehead out of his way he flew into a tirade of questions to the nearest nurse.

"I'm looking for my wife. Kirsten Cohen? She's pregnant, is she okay? Are the babies alright? Is she here, where is she? Have you seen her?"

The nurse stood opened mouth as this rather strange looking man (he had long black hair with a mad fringe which reached down to his bushy eyebrows and wore torn holey jeans with a battered sweatshirt) quizzed her on a patient of whom she had never heard.

"Sir if you just calm down I'm sure I'll be able to help. You're looking for your wife?"

"Yes her name's Kirsten Elizabeth Cohen she's twenty-three and pregnant – with twins." He looked hopefully at her as she searched through the files hoping that by some miracle her name wasn't there - she was standing somewhere behind him smiling beautifully as she laughed at his overreaction to a cut finger.

The nurses face contorted a little and she glanced up at him, and then she searched around the busy emergency department for someone unknown to Sandy.

Obviously at a loss to find who she was looking for she cleared her throat, "Umm Mr. Cohen your wife was brought in an hour ago she was having contractions…"

Before she could get any further Sandy cut her off sharply, "She can't have been she's only twenty-eight weeks. It's too soon she can't be. Check again."

Sadly the nurse looked down at the chart in her hands double checking the name clearly printed at the top, "I'm sorry sir your wife is in premature labour she was taken up to OBGYN as soon as she arrived."

Seconds passed as Sandy just stood there trying to absorb the information he had been given, after what seemed like an eternity he returned his gaze to the young nurse he opened his mouth slightly but she immediately anticipated what was to come.

"Fourth floor – elevators are down this corridor too the left."

Without a second thought Sandy sprinted off down the pointed out corridor being lucky enough to slide sideways and not so gracefully into a departing elevator.

Ignoring all others in the lift he repeatedly stabbed at the button which would take him to his wife, he sighed clearly frustrated when the lift dinged and halted at the third floor.

When they had made the short journey up to the fourth he again slid out before the door had barely opened, heading straight toward another poor nurse he again rhymed off his list of questions.

"I'm looking for my wife she was brought in about an hour ago. Her name's Kirsten Cohen she's twenty-three and pregnant – with twins."

"You must be Sandy she's been asking for you." As the nurse made off down the corridor Sandy stayed with her practically perched on her shoulder. "She was brought in and assessed she's in premature labour."

Making an abrupt about turn the petite nurse faced a rather haggard Sandy, "The babies are very distressed at the moment Mr. Cohen the doctors have decided that an emergency casern is needed."

She paused and watched the look of panic pass across his face, "She's very upset right now she needs you."

A simple statement that immediately snapped Sandy out of whatever day dream he had been in he nodded slowly once again following the nurse along corridors.

When he entered the white bland hospital room he was shocked by what he saw, his beautiful wife lay chalk white on the bed her large stomach had a band round it and the sound of many erratic beeps attacked Sandy's' ears.

Kirsten's eyes were screwed firmly shut and her fingers were digging into the mattress beneath her as she panted through the pain.

Quickly Sandy covered the distance between himself and his wife taking her small hand in his he planted a solid kiss upon her sweaty forehead.

Cracking her eyes open slightly Kirsten looked up at her husband "Sorry."

One word choked out to the man she had loved from the day they met.

The one word she hoped would appeal to him and beg his forgiveness.

The tears finally escaping his eyes Sandy broke down engulfing Kirsten in a gentle hug carefully of her aching body. The warmth Sandy's hug gave her made the last of Kirsten's defences melt away too.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Sandy made sure he had full eye contact with her before adding with a smile. "They just wanted to make a grand entrance."

Kirsten couldn't help but smile but this soon disappeared as another contraction tore through her.

Sandy felt her squeeze his hand and groan into his shoulder as he tried his best to sooth her, the door swung open to his right and several doctors bustled into the room. They began to disconnect the various machines surrounding her and flipped through her charts but no one had addressed him yet.

As one of the doctors made a move around him he suddenly seemed to register his presence, "Ahh Mr. Cohen? I'm Dr. Cairns I'll be performing the casern on your wife, we tried to halt the labour using medication but it's been unsuccessful. The babies are very distressed at the moment and we need, for their safety and your wife's, to deliver them as soon as possible."

Sandy nodded dumbly and held onto Kirsten's hand, he had too many questions running through his head at the moment to even begin asking what would happen after the birth.

A pair of pale blue scrubs were promptly thrust into his free hand, looking down at them and then up once again to the nurse.

"Change into these and you can come into the operating theatre." This nurse smiled at him politely and seemed genuine in her attempt to consider his feeling throughout all of this.

* * *

Kirsten lay flat on her back staring sleepily at the ceiling tiles above her, the afternoon had become a complete blur. When she woke up his morning she had the perfect life – a loving husband and two gorgeous children on the way but now as she lay there preparing for the worst she wondered what she had done to deserve such a horrible hand in life. 

She had been given some very strong drugs in preparation for her operation and she was numb from the neck down. Sandy sat by her head stroking her hair and whispering reassurances but nothing could quell the feeling of dread within her mind.

She gasped as she felt strange actions being performed below her eye line, a cloth had been place before her so she couldn't see what the doctors where doing.

She could hear garbled talking but focused on Sandy's voice determined to hold on until she knew her children were alright.

Sandy ran his fingers through Kirsten's hair repeatedly hoping to provide some comfort for both of them. His stomach churned incessantly as the clinical environment made him want to be violently ill, this was no way for his children to come into the world.

A voice broke through to him, "Okay Mr. Cohen are you ready? Here comes baby number one."

Standing up on shaky legs Sandy peered over the cloth nervous of what he would see. The surgeon's hands were inside Kirsten body as he roughly pulled the eldest child from her womb, Sandy watched with awe as the tiny body made its way out.

"Congratulations it's a boy." The doctor turned and swiftly handed the newly born baby boy to the specialist nurses, Sandy couldn't get the perfect image from his mind.

"Why isn't he crying?" Kirsten's soft voice broke through to him, reaching down he stroked the hair from her forehead.

"Don't worry he's fine." At that moment a small cry escaped their baby son as his breathing became steady. The nurses all sighed with relief glad that their training had saved another life; began their work of weighing and measuring the baby.

Kirsten smiled from beneath the mask and turned her head toward the noise.

"He's perfect." Sandy whispered as he dropped a kiss on Kirsten's brow. "Little Seth."

"Do we have the other incubator standing by?" The doctor's voice called out to the team of nurses. They rapidly left Seth with only the one nurse and huddled around the surgeon - a clear sign to Sandy that all was not well.

Turning his attention toward his wife's stomach he was shocked and shaken by what he saw. There in his hands the doctor held a blue and purple little body, so small Sandy was unsure that it was in fact his second child.

Quickly the doctor turned and deposited the baby in the incubator, the nurses swarmed around it various undistinguishable calls being made in a language Sandy couldn't interpret.

He could make out Kirsten sobbing beside him; he dropped heavily onto the seat barely keeping contact with her hand – he knew this would break her heart.

"What is it? Is it a girl? Sandy…Sandy please?" Kirsten pleaded with him, with anyone to tell her how her child was.

Sandy was paralysed unable to tell her what was happening; thankfully the doctor appeared before them.

"Kirsten? Kirsten look at me." Once he had her full attention he continued. "It's a boy okay another little boy."

Kirsten and Sandy noted the use of present tense, a huge weight suddenly lifted form Sandy's shoulders.

"Why isn't he crying? He's okay isn't he?" Kristen begged with them both to tell her what she wanted to hear.

"Kirsten he's very small okay, he's having trouble breathing. They've been born too early and haven't fully developed yet – but he's particularly…he's very sick okay? They're going to take both boys to the NICU so they can look after them; I'm going to close you up now."

The doctor returned to his work and the two incubators were wheeled out past the new mother and father. The nurse's took the time to stop by the head of the bed letting Kirsten have a look at her children - she too was shocked by her youngest son's appearance.

As they disappeared out the door she reached for Sandy's hand.

"You have to look after them. Promise me you'll look after them." Sandy had to lean in close to hear her but when he heard what she had to say he began to cry again.

"I promise." He whispered and kissed her longingly on the lips.

* * *

Hope that was a good chapter review and let me know! Promise not to keep you waiting that long again already have the next few chapters written! 

Please review now!


	3. Driving With The Brakes On

**Driving With the Brakes On**

Disclaimer – I own nothing to do with The O.C, they belong to Josh and the people at Fox!

A/N; Here we go again I wanted this chapter to be dramatic and tug at the heart strings but it turns out I'm not so good at that.

Had too much fun writing the light chapters so this one suffered a bit – not as long as the others but I hope it tides you over to the next chapter is posted.

By the way all the chapter titles (except the first two) come from an album so they also don't belong to me. Well done to anyone who can name that album you have great taste in music!

Enjoy and please review!

* * *

It was the longest few weeks of Sandy and Kirsten's lives, everyday they got up at dawn, travelled to the hospital to visit their children never leaving before dusk. 

After the emergency birth Kirsten had remained in the theatre to be cleaned up, Sandy had kissed her goodbye and then followed the boys up to intensive care.

Kirsten's mother had arrived while they were in the operating room she was frantic with worry having been stuck in traffic for most of the drive. Sandy reassured her as best he could, she was thrilled to have two little grandsons but wanted to make sure her own baby was alright. Allowing Sandy to go with the boy's safe in the knowledge that Kirsten had her mom to take care of her.

He watched helplessly as his sons were transferred into static incubators, luckily the boys had been placed side by side meaning Sandy could watch them both. Nurses bustled around him attaching many different wires and tubes to his son's bodies, adjusting monitors and administering medication.

Seth seemed alright, small but then he was born early, he was pink and cried as the nurses poked and prodded at him. The nurse working with him explained that he was hooked up to a heart monitor as a precaution and was having an oxygen supplement to help him breath. He was in an incubator because premature babies have trouble regulating their body temperature; she assured Sandy that he was perfectly healthy all this was just because he was born so early.

Relieved Sandy turned his attention to his other son as the nurses put on Seth's first nappy. He felt very guilty looking down at his youngest child – they were still to decide on a name for him. They had agreed on a girls name but not another boy, Kirsten had held out for a girl the whole time, she said she would come up with a name once she saw him. It was too late now this little baby was here but Sandy didn't have a name for him.

The activity surrounding him had not ceased yet, he too was hooked up just like Seth Sandy was calmer this time knowing it was merely precautionary. He was shocked however when the nurse at the top of the incubator stepped back to reveal that his situation was in fact very different – protruding from his tiny face was a large tube.

Sandy let out a gasp stepping forward he attracted the attention of the nurses; he pushed his hands up against the glass trying to touch his baby.

"Sir?" Sandy turned his glazed eyes toward her, "His lungs are underdeveloped that's why he's on the vent. He's very small, he wasn't ready to be born we'll do everything we can for him."

The tone panicked Sandy she was implying that he would die; he wasn't going to survive like Seth was.

But to everyone's surprise little Ryan did hold on, he survived the night and held his own through the first few days.

Once Kirsten was strong enough to leave her bed she had been taken up to the NICU to see her children, it had actually taken all the staffs persistence to stop her going up there the moment she wakened.

She had named Ryan the moment she saw him, it was her uncle's name he had survived cancer twice and she thought it suited the baby as he was a fighter.

It was hard for all the family to have the boys in specialist care; the new grandparents could only see the boys for ten minutes at a time. Sandy's mother had travelled down from New York to see them, she was staying in the house while Sandy and Kirsten went back and forth.

The days just seemed to drag in, for every two steps the boys went forward they took one back. It was so frustrating for Sandy and Kirsten to see their boys struggling; it was like driving with the brakes on - constantly trying to make a difference but never quite succeeding

As the days went by Seth got stronger until his parents were finally able to hold him, Kirsten was even asked to feed him. She had succeeded on her first attempt Seth eager to be with his mother but Sandy noted that the whole time she was feeding him she kept her eyes locked on Ryan.

She was never willing to hold or feed him, preferring to sit by Ryan's bed one hand cupped on the top of his small head the other rhythmically stroking his chest. She could stay like that for hours through meal times and shift changes – she just had to be near her son.

Sandy had to drag her away at the end of each day, he would quietly kiss each boys head and tell them he loved them, and then pull Kirsten up from her chair supporting her until they got to the car. He would lie awake at night and listen to her crying, she would do her best to hide it but she never could she would always breakdown into sobs. Sometimes she would let him hold her, comfort her in anyway he could other nights she would push him away retreating to the solitude of the bathroom.

The days seemed to run into one another, never doing anything except sitting in the hospital.

It was well into the third week when Sandy and Kirsten were buzzed into the NICU they nodded at the nurses some of whom had become familiar faces, they walked hand and hand up to the far corner of the ward.

Spying an empty incubator, Kirsten spun around wildly – Ryan was gone. The tears streamed down her face, she anticipated the worst, she was crying and screaming for her baby.

Sandy held her tightly; he couldn't understand what had happened - if something bad had happened to Ryan they would have called he was sure of it.

"Mrs. Cohen." A nurse appeared to their right she was holding a small bundle in her arms. "He's here Kirsten it's alright."

Looking up from her heap Kirsten look at the baby in her arms, Ryan's tiny face beamed back at her. The tubes and wires gone for the first time Sandy and Kirsten could finally see his whole face he was so beautiful.

Kirsten took him from the nurse's arms as she continued to cry rocking slowly with Ryan in her arms.

"Hey baby." Ryan looked directly at her yawning a little and wiggling in her arms, "Hi beautiful boy – I'm your mommy. Yes I am, aren't you gorgeous."

* * *

The house was completely done up with balloons and streamers, a banner hung above the arch in the living room. Hailey had hand painted the sign it read; 'Welcome home Seth and Ryan!' 

The house buzzed with excitement, the whole extended Nichol and Cohen family were there – Sandy's brother and sister both decided to make the trip to see the new editions to the family.

Kirsten had spent the night before tidying the whole house she wanted everything to be perfect for the boys arrival. She had spent several hours in particular fixing the boys room ensuring everything was to hand for easy manoeuvres and organising all the teddies which the boys had received. Sandy was pleased to see Kirsten happy and content she had finally taken on a mothering glow instead of a worn worried expression.

They had taken great pleasure in dressing both boys in their little outfits although Ryan's was slightly more difficult to find as nothing they had been given was his size. Finally they had settled for simple white sleep suits, placing the boys in their new car seats they took nearly an hour just to leave the ward stopping to thank everyone they met on the way.

Driving home both parents continually shifted in their seats trying to look back into the rear. Sandy positioned the mirror every so slightly lower so he had a good shot of the boys heads while Kirsten practically sat backward in her chair just to be able to see them. The problem with having two was that one was directly behind you so you had to rely on the passenger to look at him.

As they pulled into the road and were amazed at what they saw – all the neighbours had poured out onto the street. The sidewalk outside their house was filled with well wishers anxious to see the Cohen boys in the flesh.

Sandy lifted Seth while Kirsten took Ryan as everyone gasped and cooed over the tiny babies. It had been six weeks since they were born and although all the doctors were happy with their progress they still appeared small. Especially Ryan, who slept with his head on Kirsten's shoulder oblivious to the fuss surrounding him.

Everything supposedly designed for babies appeared to swamp him, Sandy had been so nervous when he bathed him that he'd ended up holding the supplies while the nurse talked him through it. The smallest of nappies reached his armpits and when placed in a pram he looked like he was being eaten alive by cloth.

Finally making it into the house they were glad to be able to sit down away from the crowd. Automatically Seth and Ryan were snatched away by clucking grandmothers; they were bounced on many knees and exposed to as much baby talk as was possible.

Exhausted from their day the boys settled into their nightly sleep earlier than usual allowing Sandy and Kirsten to thank all their family and usher them from the house.

Wrapping his arm around Kirsten, Sandy guided her back up to the nursery where they stood in the doorway just staring at their sons.

A crackle was heard from one of the cribs as Seth began to wake already needing a nappy changed. Releasing his wife Sandy kissed her temple and whispered;

"We just got in way over our heads."

* * *

Well that was chapter three - not my best but I hope it was okay for you guys. 

Please review and let me know what you thought - a mix of angst and fluff always a good combination!


	4. Here and Now

**Here and Now **

Disclaimer – I own nothing to do with The O.C, they belong to Josh and the people at Fox!

A/N; Here is chapter four I hadn't originally planned this one so it's a bit of an addition to the mix.

**Forgottenletters**; Your review made me crack up! Very sorry to have confused all you Americans so here are the explanations. A nappy is a diaper and a pram is umm good what would you call it? Stroller/pushchair something like that!

Apologies and I will try to be clear on everything I say from now on.

By the way all the chapter titles (except the first two) come from an album so they also don't belong to me. Well done to anyone who can name that album you have great taste in music!

Enjoy and please review!

* * *

"I just don't think its fair that's all Sandy." Kirsten huffed as she spooned out some more pureed carrots for Seth who trying to mash what had fallen into the high chair. 

"Well I don't understand why you even want on?" Sandy replied trying to aim the spoon at Ryan's mouth.

"It was how I was raised Sandy, I want the boys to be christened. Seth will you please stop that." Jolted back to reality by his mother's raised voice Seth's big brown eyes looked at her, tears forming in the corner.

"You never go to church – ever. You want them to be christened so you can dress them up and have a party don't even try to hide it. Ryan, Ryan please come on honey look it's nice daddy likes it." In an attempt to get Ryan to eat Sandy raised the spoon to his lips and made 'yummy' noises.

"I'm no worse than you, when was the last time you observed the Sabbath?" Silence met Kirsten and she smiled smugly, "But I bet when the boys get to thirteen you'll want them to have a bar mitzvah?"

Again she was met by silence as Sandy awkwardly pretended to be concentrating on feeding a squirming Ryan. Reaching for the cloth and hoisting an eight month old Seth onto her hip she stated complacently, "You haven't got a leg to stand on."

As Kirsten stalked away to the sink to clean Seth up, Sandy looked back at Ryan who had more food on his face than he had actually eaten. Throwing down the jar he too lifted Ryan up into his arms kissing his temple tenderly he whispered, "What have we let ourselves in for little man?"

* * *

Kirsten loved planning the christening; because she stayed home with the boys most days it gave her something to do that involved them as well. She had started by writing a list of everyone she wanted to invite – the numbers grew rapidly especially when her father found out and invited every business man in Newport. Caleb was very proud of his little grandchildren but particularly Ryan who had taken on more of Kirsten's waspish charm than Seth had. 

Over the months as the boys grew their physical appearance had become more and more of a talking point. Nearly everyone who met the boys were shocked when informed that they were in fact twins, they looked so different from one another it really was amazing. Seth resembled his father in everyway, all his features were Sandy's except his thin build and button nose which he got from his mother. Ryan was the complete opposite from his brother, more a mix of both his parents. He had Kirsten's fair hair and eyes but his mouth and nose were all Sandy. One of the major problems with Ryan was his size; Seth was huge in comparison which made people sure that there must be a difference in age.

When Kirsten had visited the church in which she and Sandy were married the minister had been thrilled to see the boys. He had subtly grilled Kirsten on her reasons for coming to church very little and waiting so long before getting the boys christened Kirsten used all her Nichol charm to persuade him to perform the ceremony.

Once the place and guests had been arranged Kirsten could turn her attention to the outfits for the day. Her mother and sister travelled down for the day and the five of them went out on a shopping spree, while Sandy was praying that his wages would cover this extravaganza. Kirsten had returned later that afternoon the double stroller weighed down with parcels and bags, the boys sound asleep from their day out.

Kirsten had taken great pleasure in modelling each item for Sandy, to his surprise she had been very well behaved merely buying herself a new top and him a new shirt. The boys were too old for the traditional gown so Kirsten had opted for matching shirt and pants with identical little booties for each boy.

As the big day approach Kirsten grew increasingly excited, she hadn't been this wound up since their wedding day. She felt like this was more important because her boys would be making their first public appearance in Newport society. She could pretend like she didn't care what they thought but the truth was that she did, she wanted all her old friends to see how happy she was living in Berkeley and what beautiful children she had.

Sandy had bundled everything into the car the morning before the christening, they had decided to stay the night at Kirsten's parents so that the morning would be less stressful. The journey had been a long one with the boys taking it in turns to cry, causing Sandy to pull over in the nearest lay-by till Kirsten could settle them back down.

On arrival at the Nichol mansion Sandy had grabbed the bags out of the boot and slunk off to the guest room to hide from Caleb. Quicker than he had hoped he had all the bags were unpacked; their smart clothes hung on the back of the door and all the boys supplies had been placed in the small room Anne had converted into a nursery for when the boys visited.

Sighing Sandy made his way down the stairs to find Kirsten and Anne sitting in the lounge with the boys playing at their feet. Caleb could be seen through the patio doors pacing up and down the deck with the phone clutched to his ear so Sandy thought it was safe to join in the conversation.

Sitting down next to Kirsten he attracted his sons attention, they both turned to look at him grinning equally. Ryan got on all fours and scooted over to sit at his feet, that was what Sandy loved about his boys above all else, they loved to be near their parents whether playing or reading or eating. Ryan in particular got very anxious when left without his parents and he had a real phobia of strangers refusing to be held by anyone he hadn't met before.

Seth to made his way toward to the couch but instead of staying down at Sandy's feet, he gripped onto the fabric of the sofa straining and tugging at it. Reaching down Sandy pulled him up onto his feet allowing him to stand using the couch as support, he grinned down at Seth as his face pulled a very concentrated expression.

Beside him Anne squealed with delight, "Oh my when did he start doing that? Aren't you a clever boy huh?" She tickled Seth's chin as she gurgled at her, "He'll be walking soon, then the trouble will really start."

They all laughed and even Seth joined in although he had no idea what they were laughing about, the laughter continued when Ryan looked round at them a puzzled expression on his face. Sandy wouldn't trade this for anything else in the world his boys brought so much joy into his life.

* * *

The alarm buzzed loudly in Sandy's ear, groaning he rolled over to find Kirsten was already out of the bed. He heard her footsteps coming back toward their bedroom so he quickly closed his eyes trying to fool her, he was aware of movement around him and then gasped as a heavily package was deposited on his stomach. 

"Sandy I know you're awake, take him and get him washed we have to leave in an hour." Kirsten voice was higher than usual a definite sign that she was harassed already.

Sandy cracked open his eyes to find a very mucky Seth sitting on his chest, grinning at his father Seth smashed a hand full of buttery toast onto his pyjama top. Sandy groaned and closed his eyes once again, deciding that he had better help out before Kirsten exploded he lifted Seth off him and made his way to the en-suite.

An hour later the whole Cohen family stood on the steps of the Nichol mansion as a pretentious photographer tried to make them pose. Sandy had a tight grip on Ryan's arms throughout the photo because he had decided that he disliked his booties and wanted to remove them. It had taken Kirsten nearly ten minutes to get the things on as he kept wriggling around the bed and when she finally had them on Ryan had swung his feet and pulled at them until the left one popped off.

Stressed out enough as it was Kirsten had passed Ryan to his father with strict instructions that he had to wear then for at least one photograph. He had been relatively good with them until the photographer insisted that he take about a hundred photographs each with the boys in a different position. Getting fed up with them he had begun to fidget two pictures ago, Sandy himself was getting rather annoyed at being poked and prodded while over heating in his shirt and tie.

He was very glad to see a sleek black Mercedes pull up the drive way, it was Anne who insisted that they all go together in one car. The only time Sandy had seen a car like it was in funeral processions and he hoped that this particular one wasn't used for such gory processions he didn't want the christening jinxed before it began.

They piled into the back of the car they boys placed gently into their car seats before being strapped in to the car. Sandy sat in the back row with Anne and Seth while Kirsten and Caleb cooed over Ryan in the front. It didn't take all that long to get to the church but the driver was kind enough to take the long way round once he saw the boys yawning lulled by the cars motion.

By the time they had arrived at the church both boys were asleep, Kirsten looked relieved the last thing she wanted was them howling all the way through the service. Walking down the isle with the sleeping boys they were thrilled to see one side of the church filled with their guests.

They nodded to Caleb and Anne as they took their places in the pew behind them while Sandy and Kirsten slide in next to Seth and Ryan's godparents. Sandy and Kirsten had asked two of their friends from university to be godparents much to their family's disappointment; they had decided that it would be too hard to choose between the two sisters.

The boys slept peacefully through all of the signing and praying, eventually it came to the actual christening, Sandy and Kirsten handed the boys over to their godparents and took their places in front of the minister.

After going through the preset questions the minister asked them, Sandy was handed Seth so that he was christened first, as he handed him over he whispered his name to the minister.

Standing beside the font the minister dunked his fingers in the water and raised his hand above Seth head, Sandy and Kirsten gripped each others hand waiting for the inevitable.

"Seth Ezekiel Cohen, I bless you in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit. May his spirit rest upon you and abide with you now and forever."

The minister marked out three crosses on Seth's forehead, after the first Seth's eyes shot open and he began to wail. The minister bounced him in his arms as he continued on but Seth continued to cry upset at being awoken in such a fashion, Sandy felt Kirsten grip his hand tightly. After holding Seth up for the congregation to see he handed him back to Kirsten and motioned for Ryan to be handed over.

Sandy took Ryan from Graeme and was surprised when Ryan whimpered in his arms; he had wakened when his brother began to cry. Sandy did a small dance on the spot as Kirsten rubbed Ryan's back trying to reassure him that he would be alright.

The minister took Ryan from Sandy's arms and presented him to the congregation, "Ryan Jacob Cohen, I bless you in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit. May his spirit rest upon you and abide with you now and forever."

Ryan's cries where lesser than Seth's he strained his neck to trying to seek out his parents, silent tears etched there way down his little cheeks. Again the minister danced with him but it didn't help Ryan disliked being held on his back; like a baby so he stretched out his arms for his father.

Quickly he was handed back to his fathers waiting arms, the buried his head into his neck as Sandy kissed his temple. He looked over at Kirsten was rocking with Seth he smiled and kissed her tenderly then they made their way over to their seats.

* * *

The party had been going on for several hours now, after more pictures outside the church everyone had headed back to the Nichol mansion. Anne and Caleb had lain on a lavish lunch to be severed to all the guests followed by a party so that everyone could mingle. 

The boys had been given a substantial amount of money each, everywhere they turned Sandy and Kirsten seemed to be accepting checks. Obviously the Newport elite thought the bigger the check the more influence it would have with Caleb, which told Sandy that these people didn't know Caleb at all he didn't care who gave the most.

The boys got tired around seven so Kirsten and Sandy put them down for the night, looking at each other Kirsten say a spark in Sandy's eyes.

"You know the boys will be asleep for a long time and your mom and dad are occupied…"

Kirsten grinned sexily at Sandy and whispered, "So…?"

Licking his lips Sandy seductively Sandy took Kirsten by the hand and they snuck off to their room.

* * *

Kay that was chapter four five will be up soon. Hope you enjoyed it. 

Please if you have read this far review! It means a lot to those who write!


	5. Cry To Be Found

**Cry to Be Found **

Disclaimer – I own nothing to do with The O.C, they belong to Josh and the people at Fox!

A/N; Here is chapter five, back to the fluff and angst mix. This is a rather short chapter and it's a little jumpy but I thought you guys deserved an update. The chpaters now start to jump a little, so the boys differ in age from chapter to chapter. probably aiming for one a year so the boys are now two the next three and so on.

Thanks to all the reviewers you guys make me keep posting andI am enjoying htis story so much!

I don't want to go on forever but there were a couple of questions; **kursk; **M&S won't appear until the guys move to Newport but hang on in there, **forgottenletters; **this chapter and the next explore the issues of Ryan's birth, **jen; **the boys were around eight-ten months old in the last chapter and are now nearly two.

By the way all the chapter titles (except the first two) come from an album so they also don't belong to me. Well done to anyone who can name that album you have great taste in music!

Enjoy and please review!

* * *

Sandy lay in bed listening to the crackling on the baby monitor; the boys had been in bed for a few minutes now. After putting them down he had retreated to the bedroom to get some work done on his filing, Kirsten was held up at the gallery. He was barely paying attention to the papers spread before him distracted by the noises his sons were making. 

Sandy soon realised though that only one voice was being heard, sneaking back toward the doorway he peeked into the boy's room. Seth was lying on his back babbling away, nothing in particular just general noises. A few days ago Kirsten was certain she had heard him say "mom" and had run around the room ecstatic, Sandy was a little more sceptical seeing as hadn't done it since. Seth had always been the noisiest, starting to gurgle from an early age and now it had become more and more defined. Both Sandy and Kirsten were pleased with his ramblings taking every available opportunity to encourage him engaging him in meaningless conversations.

What appeared to have slipped under Kirsten's radar though was that Ryan was making no such efforts. He had always been a quiet baby, often contenting himself rather than screaming for his parent's attention.

Approaching the right side of the room Sandy lifted a still wide awake Ryan up to his chest. Turning across the room he switched on Seth's night light, wished him goodnight and left closing the door over so only a crack of light shone through.

Entering the master bedroom, Sandy plopped Ryan down on the bed; he quickly crawled away heading toward the soft comforter pooled at the top of the bed. Lifting all the files off the bed and depositing them on the nightstand Sandy laughed as Ryan snuggled into the duvet, only a few strands of blonde hair stood out on the bed sheets.

Sandy lifted the sheets and climbed in next to his son, lifting him gently he placed him on his chest. "Hey little guy, your not sleepy yet are you?"

The little blonde head bobbed from side to side in answer to his father, gripping his shoulders Sandy lifted him up into a sitting position.

"Come on Ryan, speak to me come on buddy you can do it. Say 'No'." Ryan looked back at his father with perplexed eyes, Sandy sighed he knew that Ryan had heard that word it was one of Seth's favourites.

"Okay then how 'bout something simple, dada. Listen da-da, see Ryan dada." Sandy extended a finger toward himself but Ryan merely sat on his chest grinning. Sandy reached up and stroked a hand down his head and neck, Ryan smiled and lay back down on Sandy's chest. "Never mind little guy you'll get it eventually."

That was how Kirsten found them at midnight when she finally got home from work, both snoozing away peacefully. Smiling she stayed in the doorway for a while content to watch them sleep, eventually deciding that Ryan needed to be put back in his own bed.

Crossing the room she pulled back the covers from the two sleeping forms, this alone caused Sandy to stir and he wrapped his arms protectively around Ryan.

"Hey honey it's me, he needs to go to bed." She nodded her head down toward Ryan.

Still dazed Sandy lay still for a moment collecting his thoughts before allowing Kirsten to lift Ryan up from his chest. It was now Sandy's turn to watch in awe as Kirsten danced with their son glad to spend some time with him even if he was asleep.

Drawing breath Sandy decided they had to broach the subject at some point, "Kirsten?"

Kirsten turned round with Ryan snoozing on her shoulder; Sandy had never seen anything more beautiful. "Uh huh?"

"Have…have you noticed…well…that…" He couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"Noticed what honey?" Kirsten still hadn't twigged at Sandy's tone of voice.

Bite the bullet Sandy, just say it, it's for the best, "That Ryan doesn't talk?"

To his surprise Kirsten laughed, "What? Sandy he's only a baby…"

"Kirsten he's nearly two Seth started talking months ago, I think…I think we should take him to the doctor."

This got Kirsten's attention; she reached a hand up to Ryan's head as if protecting him from Sandy's words she stormed out of the room and returned moments later Ryan now gone. Reaching for the bedroom door she pulled it closed as though Ryan and Seth could understand what was being said, Sandy could tell she was angry but he also knew that she was upset. She had noticed all along that Ryan hadn't been speaking, she just wanted to ignore it not admit something was wrong with her baby.

"What?" Was all she could bring herself to say.

Sandy motioned to the spot beside him on the bed, "Honey you know Ryan should have starting talking months ago – maybe not full coherent sentences but something. Anything." Pausing Sandy could see the tears welling up in Kirsten's eyes. "He's not even trying honey, I think we should take him to see Dr. Gray."

"He's just quiet Sandy that's all." Kirsten desperately wanted to believe what she was saying was true.

"I know sweetie but we have to do something."

* * *

The Cohen family sat in the doctor's waiting room, Kirsten had Ryan in her lap anxiously straightening out his clothes every five seconds. Ryan was annoyed at being fussed over especially seeing as how Seth was allowed to sit on the floor and play with all the toys. 

The speaker beeped and the receptionist looked up from her computer, she called Ryan's name and buzzed open the security door for them to make their way down the corridor.

Entering the small room Dr. Stephen Gray stood up from his desk walking toward them he greeted the nervous family. "Sandy, Kirsten. Hey Seth you've gotten really big haven't you?"

"Yeah." Seth nodded puffing out his chest to make him look bigger.

Laughing the doctor nodded toward the pile of blocks in the corner, "Bet you can't build me tower out of bricks. I'll bet a purple lollypop that it falls down – crash!"

As the doctor clapped his hands together Seth bolted off to the corner to set about his task. Collecting together as many blocks as he could find he began to pile them up as best he could.

"Hello little guy and how are you doing?" Stephen spoke directly to Ryan who was still protectively wrapped in his mothers arms, he smiled shyly at the family doctor.

All three walked over to the chairs, sitting down Kirsten placed Ryan across her lap, Ryan was clever and could sense the tense atmosphere. He snuggled deep in his mothers embrace, trying to keep his limbs tightly away from the doctor in case of surprise needles.

"So what seems to be the trouble today then?" The doctor tried to remain upbeat despite the parent's worried expressions.

Sandy took a deep breath, "We're worried about…Ryan's speech." The doctor merely nodded and gestured urging Sandy to continue on. "Seth's been speaking for a while now and Ryan hasn't even tried yet. I mean he does the little things you know laughing and stuff but never actual words."

Sandy realised how inarticulate he sounded for a lawyer but he was doing his best. Kirsten sat fearfully beside him. "He's always been a quiet baby though not loud - like Seth." She felt she had to add that in, hopefully they were just overreacting.

Again Stephen nodded reaching into a drawer to retrieve a scope, "Have you noticed any problems with his hearing? Does he respond to his name?"

Coming round to beside Kirsten he kneeled down to Ryan's height, twisting his head slightly he placed the metal instrument inside Ryan's ear. Kirsten was preoccupied with a wiggling Ryan so it was left to Sandy to answer.

"No nothing that I've noticed, he looks at us when we speak to him and giggles when we make funny noises. He always wakes up if Seth's cries so I don't think…" Sandy tailed off he wasn't here to tell the doctor what wasn't wrong with his son he was here to see if there was something wrong.

Twisting Ryan round on Kirsten's lap Stephen looked into Ryan's other ear, swinging back on his heels he smiled at Ryan and ruffled his hair. "Clever boy. I don't see anything physically wrong, he could just be slow on speaking but at his age you really should have seen some improvement. I think we should send him for some tests," Both parents gasped slightly their panic increasing a notch. "Just some simple hearing tests if they turn up nothing then we could arrange for Ryan to meet with a speech therapist. They could encourage him to talk through games and could show you exercises to do with Ryan at home."

* * *

Ryan had been attending the speech therapist for two months now, he went once a week for an hour and loved every second of it. 

The hearing test had shown nothing was wrong with his hearing so the Cohen's had been referred on to a speech therapist. They had been worried that Ryan would panic when left with strangers and get worse instead of better. They were shocked but pleased when Ryan had absorbed everything he was being taught, either Kirsten or Sandy was allowed to stay with him during the sessions. It helped him to calm down and it meant his treatment could be carried on at home.

They had suggested several things, such as linking a word and action together while encouraging Ryan to join in. Then they started to include breaks in the play stopping the action until Ryan make some form of verbal communication; this built up until he said the word.. It took a lot of patience on the parent's part but the rewards were great when Ryan started to pick up words like, 'up' and 'clap'.

One idea which Kirsten had been against was separating the boys for a while, the therapist felt that Seth talked for Ryan. This gave Ryan an escape because Seth projected his needs there was no reason for him to speak. Kirsten had been adamant that nothing good would come of separating the boys but she had to change her mind when she noticed the change in Ryan after Sandy gave it a shot.

Ryan's confidence grew daily, he picked up more and more words and became better at using them in context to what he wanted. At the beginning he couldn't discriminate and would go through his list of random words until he hit the right one but now he could distinguish between them and enjoyed using his voice.

Kirsten and Sandy were sure of this because he had now picked up one of Seth's favourite words.

Sandy entered the living room disrupting the boys play, "Right guys bath time."

To his delight Ryan and Seth both called back, "NO!"

* * *

Yeah I finished it! that was chapter five all about Ryan finding his voice, hope you liked it please review! 


	6. Nothing Ever Happens

**Nothing Ever Happens **

Disclaimer – I own nothing to do with The O.C, they belong to Josh and the people at Fox!

A/N; Okay people here is chapter four again a mix of angst and love enjoying writing cute stories but have to inject some drama.

By the way all the chapter titles (except the first two) come from an album so they also don't belong to me. Well done to anyone who can name that album you have great taste in music!

According to my hits a lot of you read but don't review please do this time I would love to hear your opinions and constructive criticism.

Enjoy and please review!

* * *

It was a bright Saturday afternoon Sandy and Kirsten had taken the whole day off from work to spend some time with the boys. They had been so busy recently with the PD's Office and the gallery that they felt bad for neglecting the boys; they were growing up so fast. 

Everyday it seemed like the boys had learned something new Sandy and Kirsten were determined to spend time with them before they started pre-school. It was such a huge step for any child they were just glad that the boys had each other for support Kirsten didn't know how she was going to cope when they left.

They were sure that the boys would love the nursery, they were so inquisitive about the world around them and each had developed their own interests. Seth loved to draw, anything he could wherever he was while Ryan was more into tangible things that he could mould or build. The house was crammed full of things the boys had made; drawings on the fridge, play dough models on the cabinets, finger paintings on the boy's wall once Sandy had opened his briefcase and macaroni had showered his desk.

They had decided that the whole day would be dedicated to the boys, Sandy had forgone surfing instead he had taken the boys for an early morning swim and on return had cooked them a huge breakfast.

Kirsten had entered the kitchen on their return to find water pooled wherever they had been. The boy's feet swung off the end of their chairs as they spooned eggs and bacon down their throats. Smiling she made her way over to her seat, kissing each head on the way.

"Hey guys, ready for your big day?" Kirsten questioned as she spooned herself some breakfast.

"Uh huh." Seth responded through a mouthful of bagel while Ryan nodded his head which was obscured by his glass.

"Why?" Ryan's soft voice met Kirsten's ears turning her attention to him she pulled a puzzled expression.

"Why what sweetie?"

"Why are we going out today?" This puzzled Kirsten even more did they really need a reason to spend the day with their kids – had it been that long?

Seeing Kirsten's hurt expression Sandy interjected, "We just want to spend some time with you boys. We know we've been working lots and we miss you guys. I s that okay?"

Ryan turned his head to look at his brother Seth raised his eyebrows a little and motioned with his fork. Having been urged on by his brother Ryan continued, "So no jabs?"

Now Sandy and Kirsten were more confused than ever, what was he talking about?

Luckily Seth was a little more articulate than Ryan and he was happy to fill them in, "The only time you _and_ mommy stay with us is when we get icky jabs."

Screwing their faces up for dramatic effect, Seth and Ryan finally clued their parents into what they were thinking – sometimes they were too smart for their own good.

"No kiddo no jabs just you two, mommy and me!" Sandy smiled and ruffled Ryan's hair on his way to the sink.

"So how do you guys fancy a morning at the park with a picnic and then we'll go to the wildlife centre?"

"Yeah!" Both boys yelled and attempted to high-five, a move they had done with their father countless times but hadn't quite mastered when the target was smaller.

* * *

It had taken quite a struggle on Sandy's part to get everything packed up in the car, the boys had wanted to take an enormous amount of outdoor toys with them and Kirsten had packed a gigantic lunch. 

Those things Sandy could understand but what he couldn't fathom was why Kirsten had insisted that they take a backpack full of clean clothes. She had muttered something about the boys getting dirty and thrust the bag back into his hands. Sandy thought that this was a typical example of Kirsten's upbringing – to her it would be mortal sin if her children were seen in dirty clothes even though the were tumbling around in the grass.

You can take the girl out of Newport but you can't take the Newport out of the girl!

Seth and Ryan were securely buckled in their booster seats and item which they hated as they thought it made them look like babies but Sandy and Kirsten were adamant that they had to stay in them.

Seth had chosen to take his swing ball set, which was the major problem for Sandy, while Ryan had simply asked to take his soccer ball. Kirsten and Sandy had started to notice how much Ryan enjoyed sports, although Kirsten was reluctant to let him participate. She was so protective of him when it came to rough and tumble she had the image of him lying in the incubator imprinted on her mind.

Sometimes Ryan found it repressive and would go out of his way to run around as much as he could. Sandy and Kirsten had talked about her defensiveness a couple of times but it always ended with her in tears crying about how much she had let the boys down.

Unfortunately for Kirsten today was one of those days when Ryan preferred to break away from her constraints and let his hair down.

The second he and Seth were out the car they were off chasing his soccer ball across the grass. Kirsten kept her eyes fixed on them while Sandy started to haul everything out of the tiny boot, sighing dramatically trying to get Kirsten's attention.

"Umm babe little help maybe?" He strained as he pulled the hamper out.

Snapping out of her day dream Kirsten looked down at the pile of summer things now piled at her feet. She grinned at Sandy as she watched him struggle with Seth's swing set, bending down she retrieved the backpack and sun umbrella.

"Boys! Boys stay here just now okay, so you know where we're sitting." She smiled at them as they turned and ran back toward her, handing them some smaller things to carry.

They chose a spot between two trees, very easily spotted from a far especially for the boys. Kirsten started setting up the picnic, spreading out the cloth and various types of food she had brought, while Sandy played a game of soccer with the boys.

Once everything was out Kirsten sat back and surveyed her surroundings – there was nowhere like this in Newport. All their parks were scared by benches, flower beds and fountains since she had been living here she couldn't understand why it was needed the children here had just as much fun without all the fuss.

Seth and Ryan were trying very hard to beat their father at soccer, playing as well as their still slightly clumsy toddler feet would allow. Kirsten laughed when Sandy spread his legs wide to allow Ryan to run through them and then pulled a shocked expression as Seth giggled furiously.

Sticking his tongue out as he aimed Ryan swung back his leg and launched the ball between the two makeshift posts squealing delightedly as he scored a goal. Sandy ran up behind him capturing him under the arms and swinging him up in the air causing him to scream even louder.

Sandy ran around the small imaginary pitch holding Ryan aloft, "And Cohen scores the winning goal. Oh yes the crowd go wild what an amazing goal!"

Still laughing Sandy dropped Ryan to his feet popping his hand out for a high-five, then ruffled his hair he returned to Kirsten slightly out of breath.

"Okay guys come and get some sun cream on then you can play some more." Kirsten searched through the bag for the sun block, sniggering all the while at a panting Sandy.

Finding what she was looking for she threw one bottle over for Sandy while pooping the cap on her own. "Come here Ry."

Grudgingly Ryan came over to his mother standing before her with a pout on his face; Kirsten squeezed out a small blob onto her hand and deposited it on the end of Ryan's nose. Leaving the blob where it was she went on with the rest of Ryan's body that was exposed as Sandy did the same to Seth although he did put up more of a fight. Gently Kirsten wiped all of Ryan's face careful of his eyes but aware that his fair skin would burn quickly in this heat. No sooner had the caps been popped shut than Seth and Ryan ran off to continue their game, oblivious to the fact that their father did not follow.

Glad he had escaped another round of pee-wee soccer Sandy wrapped his arm around Kirsten shoulder as they lay under the protective parasol. They stayed like that for another hour merely watching the world around them go by, they kept a close eye on the boys often reminiscing over comical things they had done when the were very little.

Eventually the two boys sauntered back over to their parents complaining of hunger and heat; they were ready for the picnic.

Both boys tucked in to they food, again the differences between them were blatantly obvious to Sandy. Seth sat up on his knees robotically stuffing whatever food his hand came into contact with into his mouth; he didn't care what kind of weird combinations he came up with. Seth had always loved his food ever since he was a baby although he was quite a fussy eater sticking to the few things he liked.

Ryan on the other hand was a small eater often eating very little, Kirsten thought he was caught in a vicious circle – small body small appetite; small appetite small body. That was another cause for concern for Kirsten; she had spent many days and nights trying to feed him as baby he never seemed to take to it. He sat cross legged between his parents taking small bites often waiting minutes between mouthfuls, Sandy was glad that although he had a small appetite Ryan was always willing to try new exotic foods.

Once lunch was over Kirsten and Sandy set about cleaning up while the boys played tag round the trees. They decided to wait a while before driving on to the Wildlife Centre recently Seth had picked up a nasty habit of waiting till they were half way through the journey (normally when they were on a major road with nowhere to stop) before complaining that he felt sick.

They had been packing away their belongings for around ten minutes when they heard Seth shrieking from behind one of the trees. Sandy jumped up from the blanket hurtling off toward the sound of his hysteric son he rounded the tree his eyes searching out Seth. He expected to find him on the ground with a grazed knee or elbow but instead he was met by an even worse sight.

Ryan was leaning heavily against the tree, his face was flushed and his chest rose rapidly up and down. His eyes were wide and he gasped for every breath, Sandy leapt forward capturing Ryan's wrist twisting him so he could get a clear look at him.

"Ryan! Ryan sweetie what is it?" Sandy cupped his chin trying to work out what was wrong with his son. "Ryan calm down honey okay deep breaths from me."

A frantic Kirsten stood behind him; she had pulled Seth toward her holding him tight against her waist trying to shield him while unconsciously soothing herself.

"Seth what happened?" Sandy called still trying to help Ryan.

"I don't know daddy….he was okay…we were only playing…" Seth choked out through his sobs, reaching up to his mother she silently lifted him onto her hip swaying from side to side.

"Shh baby its okay…Ryan's okay." Kirsten kissed his temple there was nothing she could do except stand and watch.

A passer by offered to go to the café and call for an ambulance, none of the Cohen's answered too much in shock. Sandy was now sitting with Ryan in his lap rubbing his back whispering to him, Ryan continued to pant he was unable to catch his breath. He had been getting progressively worse since Sandy found him, his breaths getting quicker and shallower with every passing second. Sandy was petrified he would stop breathing but there was nothing he could do except comfort him he didn't know what was wrong.

Sandy could hear the siren getting closer he thanked Moses that help was on the way, "Helps coming kiddo, you're gonna be alright. Just keep breathing that's a good boy."

Quickly the paramedics were by Sandy's side, they were taking to him asking him questions. Ryan clung to him desperately, trying to fight off the paramedics he had lost all his rational thinking he was just in a blind panic.

"Sir you need to hold this over his mouth and nose." Sandy looked up and was presented with a smoking mask reaching out he took it and held it as near to Ryan as he could get. "Try and breathe deeply Ryan. It'll help you okay you're doing great."

Sandy carried Ryan to the ambulance, stepping in the back before he realised that he could hear Kirsten and Seth sobbing. Setting Ryan down on the gurney he turned to Kirsten, he was about to offer to switch places but she shook her head slightly shifting Seth she nodded down toward Sandy's hand were Ryan was still had a firm grip.

Before the doors slammed shut he mouthed, "I love you."

* * *

Ryan had been taken straight through to paediatrics resuscitation, Sandy felt like he had gone back four years to when Ryan and Seth were babies. Nurses and doctors bustled around him asking questions and talking in that strange language again. 

"Sir has Ryan been diagnosed with asthma?" Sandy shook his head; Ryan was still holding him in a death grip even though he was exhausted from his laboured breathing.

His little t-shirt had been cut off in the ambulance so his chest was bare for a freezing stethoscope to be push up against his ribs causing Ryan to squeal and cry harder. The doctor listened for a while and then conferred with her colleagues.

"Does he have any food allergies?" Again Sandy shook his head neither boy had ever suffered from any type of reaction. "Has he eaten anything out of the norm today? Or maybe been stung or in contact with a plant?"

Sandy summoned up enough courage to voice a response, "We were in the park...we had a picnic but nothing that he hasn't eaten before."

The doctor nodded and rhymed off a long list of tests she whished to be done, as the nurses dispersed to go about their orders Sandy sat down on the edge of Ryan's bed.

Holding him close Sandy stroked his hair and back continuing to speak softly as the smoke billowed from Ryan's face. He was beginning to get exhausted the amount of effort he had to exert and every breath was taking its toll. Sandy was scared for him no one could tell him what was happening and he dreaded to think what kind of state Kirsten was in right now.

* * *

Kirsten had thrown everything in the trunk like a mad woman, speeding off toward the hospital she wanted to be there for Ryan. Seth was still sobbing by the time they got there; Kirsten scooped him up into her arms and ran full tilt into the reception. 

She had rhymed off her details as fast as she could, getting rather annoyed when the student nurse couldn't find Ryan's details. A few anxious minutes later Kirsten was directed up to the paediatrics ward rushing a thank you she took off with Seth in her arms.

When the doors opened she dashed out her eyes searched wildly around for Sandy, spotting him down the hall she sprinted through the milling people.

"Where is he? Is he okay? Why are you out here?"

Sandy lifted Seth from her arms, taking her hand to calm her down, "He's okay I promise, he's sleeping now the attack tried him out."

"Attack? What attack…Sandy what's going on?"

"Kirsten sit down sweetie," Sandy guided her toward the colourful seats, spreading Seth across his lap, "Ryan had an asthma attack okay it was pretty serious but he's okay now. Tried from all the effort and a little scared but he'll be fine. They still have him on an oxygen mask and they say that he'll have to carry an inhaler from now on but other than that everythings fine."

Kirsten sat in silence trying to absorb what had happened, she had heard of asthma and always thought it was a relatively small problem she would never have expected this.

"Can I see him?" It was the only thing she wanted to do, go in and apologise to her son for what had happened.

Sandy nodded and gripped her hand tightly pointed her in the direction of Ryan's room. He stayed where he was cuddling Seth looking for some relief; he was searching for a way to explain this to Seth. He knew he was scared he could relate but he knew that once Seth knew what was going on he would be much more content.

"Daddy is Ryan 'kay?" Seth's big brown eyes searched his fathers for an answer.

"Yeah sweetie Ryan's okay, he just…Ryan…" Sandy couldn't think of a way to explain, "Ryan has a sore chest and running around today made it hard for him to breathe."

Seth looked thoughtful for a moment and then ducked his head whispering, "Sorry daddy."

Lifting him up Sandy made sure Seth looked him in the eyes, "Seth none of this was your fault nobody, not even mommy and me, knew Ryan was sick. The doctors are giving him medicine to make him all better and then we can take him home. So what do you say we go see if he's up yet?"

Seth nodded and wrapped his arms around his father's neck, "Love you daddy."

"Love you too Seth."

* * *

That was chapter six hope you liked it - giving Ryan asthma was always on the books just another reason for Kirsten to fuss over him. 

Please review now!


	7. When We Were Young

**When We Were Young**

Disclaimer – I own nothing to do with The O.C, they belong to Josh and the people at Fox!

A/N; Here is chapter seven the boys birthday one more chapter before we hit some real angst for a while so enjoy it while it lasts.

By the way all the chapter titles (except the first two) come from an album so they also don't belong to me. Well done to anyone who can name that album you have great taste in music!

Enjoy and please review!

* * *

Kirsten and Sandy were exhausted; the boys had finally gone to bed just before eleven. Bathing and changing two very excited pre-birthday children had been started with mirth, parents enjoying their children's antics but had quickly worn off when it became apparent that the boys were engaging in tag team tactics. 

The trouble began when Seth mysteriously disappeared from the living room while the dinner dishes were being put away. Once everything had been tidied away in its appropriate place the Cohen adults had headed in to start bath time to find Ryan sitting alone by the coffee table playing with his dumper trucks. Ryan denied all knowledge of where his brother was so it took Sandy ten minutes to find him crouched behind the vacuum cleaner in the cupboard under the stairs. It was then Ryan's turn to act up – showering both his parents and the bathroom in a tidal wave of tepid water and bubbles.

Then the many, many questions began; Why did they have to go to bed? When could they get up in the morning? What were they getting as presents? The list went on and on, the boys knew every trick in the book to delay their bedtime. Tomorrow was a big day, Kirsten had been planning it for months now, Caleb had promised to take the day off completely free from work so he and Anne could drive down with Hailey for the whole day. All of the boys pre-school class had been invited, balloons, streamers and party supplies bought in bulk as well as two enormous cakes made especially for each boy.

Over the years Kirsten and Sandy had discovered how incredibly hard it was to shop for twins. They had started out – as most parents probably do – buying two of everything, the same style, make and colour but due to the boy's difference in size Ryan's were always at least a size smaller. Sandy and Kirsten had always been pleased at Ryan's development, he had come on so much since he was born, that they never paid attention to the fact he was smaller. Sometimes, on occasion it was drawn to their attention, people never meant their comments to be offensive but it hurt Kirsten more than she showed. Ever since the boys had been born she had been trying to make it up to them for giving them such a rough start.

Dressing them the same was her way of showing the world that they were twins – regardless of size. Kirsten's hopes had been short lived however because as the boys grew they developed their own unique styles. Ryan was like her he preferred simple matching items while Seth was more eccentric choosing the brightest colours he could find. This was often a flash point when shopping with the boys, many a tantrum had been thrown when Seth had been refused a new item of clothing.

Kirsten smiled in her sleep remembering one particular orange polka dot incident which saw Sandy carrying a screaming Seth to the car. Suddenly the bed dipped mysteriously low, Kirsten heard Sandy grunt from beside her. A gust of cold air hit her toes and was closely followed by her face being assaulted by course tickly hair. Opening her eyes slowly she was met by Seth grinning like a Cheshire cat, suddenly she realised that it must be morning already.

Saturday 5th May her boys fifth birthday.

Kirsten tried to shut her eyes again but she had been spotted by her eagle eyed son. He sighed overdramatically, opening her eyes Kirsten saw her miniature teenager had folded his arms over his chest and cocked his head to the side. Cracking a wicked grin she ripped her arms from there protective positioning and grabbed her eldest around the waist causing him to shriek with laughter. She wrapped her arms around him pushing her cheek against his little one she smoothed down some of his unruly curls. Sneaking a look over at her husband to see how he was coping with his early morning wake up call. Her heart strings automatically constricted at what she saw – Sandy had merely shifted his arm to make room for Ryan's little body. Obviously awakened before he was ready by his over zealous brother Ryan lay snoring snuggled safety in his father's arms.

Seth's head fitted snugly in the crook of her neck trying to keep Seth calm and respectful of the others in the bed she whispered "Happy birthday baby. You excited?"

She knew it was a stupid question but usually engaging him in a controlled conversation stopped him turning into a hyper maniac.

"Yes mommy it's gonna be the best birthday ever." Seth pulled away from his mother's chest sitting up cross legged on the bed. "Everybody at school says it'll be the best even though Jamie had a bouncy castle because only eight people can be on it at the same time and we have way more friends than _Jamie_."

"Seth." Kirsten used her best motherly tone; she didn't want to be upset with him today. "Be nice to _everybody_ today okay?"

Seth pouted momentarily but quickly realised that a lot was at stake. "'Kay mommy."

He paused for a minute looked back over his shoulder at his brother and them grinned impishly. "Can I open a present now mommy?"

Kirsten couldn't help but smile at his underhanded tactics, trying to get one up on his brother. "I think we should wait for your daddy and brother to wake up."

A glint appeared in Seth's eye he swivelled round to the sleeping males reaching out a hand he captured Sandy's nose between his thumb and index finger. Sitting still for a few moments Seth withdrew his hand quickly when Sandy gasped deeply and sat up in the bed. Kirsten giggled athis puzzled expression, hair all tussled as he tried to arrange his garbled thoughts. She did however feel sorry for a very disgruntled Ryan – she loved him dearly but when he had his sleep disturbed he was such a grump.

Sandy's thoughts suddenly seemed to clear; his eyes homed in on Seth. "Oh you are so dead!"

He launched himself up off the bed taking Seth with him, tossing him over his shoulder he stomped around the room. Seth was shrieking and attempting to wrestle his way free, meanwhile Ryan had crawled up onto Kirsten's lap. For a few months after Ryan's asthma attack Kirsten had been so fussy with him never letting him out of her sight. Although he still had trouble if the pollen count was high or was particularly overexerted the attacks had been few and far between. That didn't stop Kirsten from panicking every time he took an one, often she flapped uncontrollably so Sandy had to take charge of the situation. The asthma didn't seem to faze Ryan at all; he took it all in his stride like only a child could.

Once the two ruckus Cohen's had fallen onto the bed exhausted, Sandy and Kristen shared a look above the boys head.

"I think it's time for Ryan to get his presents." Sandy tried to keep a straight face as Seth gasped.

"What about me?" Seth tried to pull his best puppy dog eyes.

"What about you? Why should you get any presents?" Sandy grabbed Seth's nose between his fingers mimicking what Seth had done to him earlier. Kirsten shot him a warning glare when Ryan stiffened in her arms, he hated it when Seth was upset and sometimes had a hard time telling when his father was joking.

"'Cos it's my birthday daddy." Seth swiped his fathers hand from his nose wrinkling it slightly to check it was still there then he threw himself on his father. "Sorry for waking you up daddy."

He planted a soft kiss on his father's cheek and then settled on his lap mimicking Ryan's position. Reaching down to their sides Sandy and Kirsten opened the drawers that were under their bed. Both boys looked at each other astonished they hadn't known there were secret compartments to the bed – not that they had looked there during their search, their parent's bedroom was the only room in the house they weren't allowed into without adult supervision.

They leaned over and peeked down the side of the bed each drawer was crammed full of neatly wrapped presents. Sitting back up Seth and Ryan looked at each other with awe as their parents laughed at their expressions.

* * *

The party was in full swing, Kirsten's family had arrived mid morning so they could spend some time with the boys before everyone else arrived at twelve. Her mother in particular had been ecstatic to see the boys she loved her grandchildren like nothing else on earth and she spoiled them rotten. 

Caleb was a great grandfather to the boys he too enjoyed spoiling them but for different reasons – he was still disappointed at Kirsten's decision to marry Sandy and live in Berkeley. He would buy the boys everything they desired hoping to coax her back to Newport, but Kirsten held firm determined, with Sandy's help, that her children would be raised knowing that there was more to life than money.

For this reason Kirsten had loved planning the birthday party, it was a simple humble affair. Kirsten could serve chips, store bought pizza slices and ready made sausage rolls without any complaints from the children or adults. The kids could run in and out of the kitchen, jump around in the paddling pool or play tag around the adults; they wore smart/casual party clothes but soon stripped off in the heat. The adults sat around in folding chairs drinking wine from plastic cups and nibbling on the children's food served on paper plates.

Kirsten was happy that her children were growing up in this environment, if they lived in Newport she probably would have been expected to hire caterers, face painters and entertainers. This suited the kids fine they were having just as much fun than if the party had cost ten times as much, it was easier on Kirsten and Sandy's friends as well no one they knew from college or kinder garden had enough money for a lavish party.

Guest had been coming and going all day some popped in just to wish the boys a happy birthday and then had to head off for work but most got caught up in the backyard talking to everyone they passed.

Sandy was in his element working the small barbeque they had placed in the garden beside the kitchen steps. He was chatting with everyone but kept glancing up at the backyard searching out Seth and Ryan's faces; reassuring himself they were having a good time.

That morning they had torn eagerly into their presents and then tucked into their birthday breakfast – Sandy's homemade pancakes. They had spent the morning playing with all the toys their parents had bought them; allowing Sandy and Kirsten to set up for the party, and then dress them in newly bought clothes.

More presents were opened once their grandparents had arrived but the boys had been told that they were to accept gifts from people at the party and place them on the table – no opening until everyone was here.

Kirsten noticed her father was no longer in the garden so she ventured into the house to find him; they hadn't talked yet one to one. She found him perched on the bench below the living room window in the front garden.

Approaching quietly she took him by surprise when she dropped down beside him, "Hey dad, what you doing out here?"

"Just needed a break from the noise." He raised his eyebrows slightly but couldn't hold that expression long breaking out into a grin along with Kirsten. "The boys are having a great time you'll never get them to sleep tonight."

"Oh don't say that we had a hard enough time settling them last night." Kirsten turned her wrist over and looked at her watch the day was going in so quickly. "Come on time for cake!"

They went in through the front door to avoid the boys, reaching up into the highest cupboard Caleb pulled out two huge boxes. Kirsten took one from him and made her way down the steps concentrating very hard on not tripping, Sandy removed his grubby apron and headed over to join her taking the other box from Caleb.

"Okay everyone attention, everyone attention please…umm boys come here, Seth? Ryan?" Kirsten called in her mannerly hostess voice.

Seeing she was getting no response Sandy yelled from beside her, "Cake!"

Automatically everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to face the table, two little heads dashed to the front forcing their way through the party goers. Sandy reached down and lifted each boy up onto a chair so the could reach the table and be seen.

"Okay thanks everyone, so we all know why we're here. To celebrate our boys fifth birthday," Sandy wrapped his arms around Ryan as Kirsten did the same to Seth making the boys flush with embarrassment.

"We couldn't have asked for a better day, I hope everyone has had a good time?" Sandy was looking at all the little faces who had made their way to the front but laughed when it was mostly adults who answered.

"Okay well the day is about to get better," Nodding to Kirsten they both flipped open the lids to the boxes simultaneously revealing the cakes they had specially ordered. Seth's was shaped like a stegosaurus; he had read about it at school and become quite the expert, while Ryan's was a red racing car just like his favourite model Caleb had bought him.

Both had the boys name written on them (Seth's on the platelets and Ryan's on the licence plate) and five candles protruded up ready to be lit. Sandy struck a match and lit all ten candles before he began the chorus of "Happy Birthday To You" everyone around him joining in, including the boys who had decided last year that as it was the others birthday they should sing too. When they finished Seth and Ryan took in a deep breath racing to see who could blow out all the candles first, everyone clapped and cheered for them.

* * *

It had taken hours before everyone had left the house the whole Cohen family were exhausted. Seth and Ryan had a mountain of presents ranging form action men to fancy dress costumes, never the less they were over the moon with each present and the fact that they mostly had one of each. 

Kirsten's parents had left last, much to the relief of a teenage Hailey, she loved her nephews but she couldn't spend a whole day with a large number of kids. She had been particularly miffed when one of the boy's class mates had spilled ketchup all down her new jeans, she had stomped indoors and it had taken a stern word from her father before she returned outdoors.

The Cohen's lay on the sofa wrapped under the throw watching one of the many videos the boys had received. Sandy reached forward and turned off the video player glad to hear that there were no complaints both boys had fallen asleep in there parents arms. Shifting Seth into his arms he stood expecting Kirsten to do the same when she made no move he looked down at her, only to find that she too was asleep.

Having stripped Seth down and gingerly put on his pyjamas Sandy placed him in bed wiping curls from his forehead and kissing him goodnight. Returning to the living room he removed Kirsten arms from Ryan and picked him up too, a relatively light sleeper Ryan wakened and looked at his father with questioning eyes.

"Shhh baby it's bedtime okay, just go back to sleep." He bounced slightly on the spot and rubbed Ryan's back soothing him back into the world of dreams.

The next time he returned to the living room he contemplated his options; waking Kirsten, letting her sleep here or carrying her to their room. Grunting in her sleep Kirsten flipped over to get more comfortable, smiling Sandy decided to let her sleep here, he pulled the blanket tighter around her and planted a soft kiss on her temple.

As he walked away Sandy laughed to hear Kirsten begin to snore loudly, that was another reason to be glad she was sleeping on the sofa. At least he would be able to get some sleep too.

* * *

Well that was their birthday party - hope you enjoyed it. 

Please review and let me know your comments!


	8. Kiss This Thing Goodbye

**Kiss This Thing Goodbye **

Disclaimer – I own nothing to do with The O.C, they belong to Josh and the people at Fox!

A/N; Here is chapter seven – can't believe I've written this many already! This is Ryan and Seth's first day of school, they are still living in Berkeley but this will be the last next chapter they move to Newport (in keeping with the show.)

A note to anyone who laughs at the uniforms I force the boys to wear – it comes from personal experience. I spent seven years in the horrid uniform described followed by another six in a similar outfit (only difference was blue and red instead of grey and green). All you Americans who don't wear uniforms count yourselves very lucky! I will be spending thousands of pounds on therapy for what I was put through – lol!

**Congratulations**; Izzy worked out what the album was! I was sure that no one would work it out it's a rather obscure reference but congrats for having great taste in music. For all those who want to know they are a great Scottish band called Del Amitri and all the chapter titles come from their greatest hits album; Hatful of Rain.

Enjoy and please review!

* * *

Kirsten had spent the entire night pressing the boy's uniforms; today they started at Springbank Elementary. 

The school have a strict dress code which every student has to wear; black shoes, grey shorts or trousers, green shirt, school tie and a grey blazer with green binding. The uniform had been the bain of Kirsten's existence having to buy one item at a time and build up the whole ensemble – the boys being on their very worst behaviour every time they entered the store.

Sandy hadn't helped at all in fact he had been against the school in the first place saying uniforms 'compressed individuality'. When he had actually seen the uniforms he had burst into fits of laughter, much to the boy's disgust who were not impressed at having to wear such horrid outfits. They had never had to wear a uniform to pre-school; Seth was particularly unimpressed with the colour scheme wondering if he could jazz it up a little with odd socks.

Out of all the Cohen clan Kirsten was the only one excited about the boys first day of school although Sandy new that when the time came to say goodbye she would be a mess. The boys had complained all night long, listing reasons why they didn't want to go to Springbank. They had been on visits a few days before so that they could get use to their surroundings and when they started they would only attend half days forthe first week.

Last night had been relatively calm in the Cohen house; the boys were both rather nervous although they wouldn't admit it. In a change to their nightly routine the boys had packed their school bags for the first time before going for a bath and then off to bed.

Sandy had caught Kirsten in the corridor outside the boy's room, watching them sleep tears running silently down her face. Their boys were growing up so fast it was hard for them to grasp that they weren't their little babies anymore. They had stood for a while longer before Sandy had managed to coax Kirsten off to bed knowing they would all need a good nights sleep.

Waking up this morning Sandy felt butterflies in the pit of his stomach, it had been a long time since he had been nervous – it was strange to think that it wasn't because of some first degree murder trial but because his children were starting school.

Entering the boys room he took in the sight before him, both boys were laying on their stomachs facing toward the other. Seth was snoring and grunting in his sleep while Ryan lay huddled beneath his covers as if he were sleeping in a freezer.

Crossing the room Sandy perched on the edge of Seth's bed knowing he would be the difficult one to wake up, "Hey guys, time to get up. Big day rise and shine."

Ryan being the light sleeper opened his eyes blearily looking at his father while Seth grunted and rolled over. "Sorry little guy you have to get up, come on Ry you go to the bathroom first."

Sandy jiggled Seth's bed several times to ensure he was wide awake, then stood and took Ryan's small hand leading him down the hall to he bathroom. Joined five minutes later by a pouting Seth, Sandy made sure the boys scrubbed their hands and faces knowing Kirsten would have a meltdown if there was one molecule of dirt left on them.

Taking the boys downstairs, Kirsten flew around the kitchen hectic she already had the boys cereal poured ready to be eaten and the toast was burning nicely. They had decided last night it was wiser to give the boys breakfast before getting them dressed sensing that some spillage would go on if the boys were given the opportunity.

Deciding to play man to man defence Sandy took Seth will Kirsten commandeered Ryan; they prepared themselves for the battle ahead. The boy's uniforms were hung up ready to go on; the first part was easy socks and trousers although Seth did try to put on his batman tool belt. Next came the starched shirts, which were more of a problem as the boys kept wiggling and pulling at the stiff collars and cuffs. The ties were a challenge for the parents as they couldn't fathom how to tie them on the boys Sandy had problems tying his own never mind doing it in reverse on a five year old.

They would leave the itchy woollen blazers off until they reached the school gates, keeping the boys in them the whole ride over would be pushing it too far. The boys did however have to stand on the front steps with them on while Kirsten took pictures to be sent to their grandparents it took a lot of encouragement before Kirsten could get a picture of both boys smiling.

Bundling them into the car, Kirsten sat looking out the passenger window trying to keep a firm grip on her tears. Drawing up outside the school Kirsten could see a swarm of mothers doing the same as she, gripping their children's hands firmly guiding them trough the crowds of older children.

"Right guys here we go." Sandy unbuckled himself and turned to the back seat helping Ryan out of the car. Kirsten and Sandy joined hands with the boys on the outside of them, leading them down the gravel path they went into the classroom through the specially opened fire doors.

The classroom was small but well decorated, coloured sugar paper lined the walls ready for the children's work to adorn it. The tables were arranged neatly into four groups each had five or six seats around them a large tray sat in the centre containing pens, pencils, rulers, rubbers - all the essentials. The table had the names of the pupils stuck to the top and a picture was placed beside it which related to their peg for coats and gym bags.

The parents had lined up along one side of the room anxiously waiting for the teacher to begin proceedings. Kirsten recognised a couple of the other mothers from the nursery but more were strange unfamiliar faces. The teacher waited for a short time continually checking outside to look for straggling parents.

At quarter past nine she decided to begin, "Well good morning everyone I'm Mrs. James and I'll be your teacher for the year. I'm just going to take the register as I call out your names I'm going to show you where you're sitting." Pausing she directed the parent's attention to another woman standing by the desk, "Miss. Stuart, our classroom assistant, will take the boys and girls to the cloakroom while I talk to the moms and dads. When you get back you'll have to say goodbye to mom and dad then we're going to get to know everybody."

Sandy didn't know how Mrs. James did it; keeping up those false energy levels all day long would kill him. Plus she had still to face the tantruming children who didn't want their parents to leave he just hoped that Seth or Ryan wasn't one of them.

"Okay here we go then Madeline Ashton red table, Greg Brown green table…" The teacher continued on through the register Sandy wasn't particularly paying attention he knew the boys names would be called soon and he was trying to search them out on the desks.

"Ryan Cohen red table," Looking up she waited for the person to step forward, Ryan gripped his fathers hand tighter and looked at him for guidance.

Kneeling down to his level Sandy handed him his bag and pushed him in her direction, "There you go kid, we'll see you before we go."

Ryan went quite calmly sitting down next to the girl called Maddie; he looked at his name and seemed quite pleased to discover his sticker was a fire truck. Sandy could see Kirsten was gripping Seth's hand in anticipation; Ryan's departure had been too easy.

"Seth Cohen yellow table," Again she looked up searching out Seth in the crowd, Kirsten tried to repeat the process with Seth but he wasn't going to be palmed off so easily. He looked at his mother, eyes showing the first sign of tears he stepped closer to her body using her as a shield to all the staring eyes.

"On you go sweetie," Kirsten tried to urge him on but she knew that Seth could tell she was weak at this point. "Go to your seat, daddy and I will see you when you get back from the cloakroom."

Seth wrapped his arms securely round his mothers waist and shook his head vigorously, sensing that this would escalate out of proportion if the focus continued on Mrs. James went onto the next name.

Sandy and Kirsten pulled Seth slightly off to the side hoping to calm him and get him into his seat. Knowing that Kirsten would pander to him Sandy took control of the situation, "Seth buddy come on there's nothing scary. It's just like pre-school okay, look Ryan went to his seat."

Seth just whimpered and let the tears fall, "I don't wanna sit on my own daddy. I want to sit with Ryan."

"Kid you're not sitting on your own the teacher hasn't called anyone else's name yet." Sandy was quietly trying to remove Seth from his mother's waist so that he could guide him over to his chair but Seth wasn't budging.

"Mommy I wanna sit with Ryan." Seth began to sob and Sandy could see Kirsten crumbling beneath his manipulations.

"Sweetie you can't sit with Ryan he's at a different table with other boys and girls, you get to sit at your own table and make new friends." Kirsten tried her best to make it a positive thing although she personally would have kept the boys together.

"Come on Seth don't you want to see what your sticker is?" Sandy extended his hand.

Seth sniffed and looked cautiously at his father, then back over his shoulder at the table where he was suppose to be sitting several children were now seated around it.

"Come on kid, we'll go see what it is then you have to go find it in the cloakroom I bet you can find it faster than everybody else." Sandy challenged knowing Seth couldn't resist.

Letting go of his mother Seth took his father's hand and walked toward the table, Kirsten took a deep breath trying to get a hold on her emotions looking up she spied Ryan anxiously watching his brothers progress.

Kirsten and Sandy both knew that if Seth didn't stay then neither would Ryan.

Once Mrs. James had everyone seated she handed over to the classroom assistant to take them off to the cloakroom, as the last little head disappeared round the door the middle aged woman turned her attention to the parents. Four other children had copied Seth's performance and were still huddled with their parents in the corner, the occasional sob or raised voice being heard.

Ignoring the commotion the teacher ploughed on, "I know this is a hard day for all of you so I'll make this brief. Once the children come back you'll say your goodbyes then the children will start on their 'Welcome Packs'." She held up a clear pocket containing A4 paper. "These are little booklets the children will work on all week, just some simple details name, age etc. At the end of the week we have a little introduction ceremony and they go up on the wall."

Pausing she passed a few copies around the parents so they could see what she meant, she began to place them down on the small desks. Once she was done she returned to the front of the class and concluded, "As you know the first week is all half days so you should aim to pick the children back up around 12:45."

As if on cue the door swung open and the children came barrelling back in minus their jackets and gym bags. Sandy and Kirsten smiled to see Seth and Ryan come back through the door as a pair, again though Seth paused when Ryan dropped into his seat leaving him to walk up to the back of the class on his own.

After a few tense seconds Seth accepted the situation and wandered back to his seat, the teacher signalled to the parents to say their goodbyes. Sandy and Kirsten broke up saying goodbye to each boy individually Sandy heading in Ryan's direction first.

Leaning down Sandy adjusted Ryan's tie and kissed him on the forehead, "Have a good day Ry, show everyone how clever you are 'kay?"

Leaning forward Ryan gave his father a high five, "'Kay daddy promise to come pick me up?"

Smiling Sandy answered, "Maybe… but I might like having a quiet twin free house." Sandy rose from the floor and moved behind Ryan wrapping his arms around him he kissed his temple tenderly and whispered, "Promise."

Moving across the room he gave Kirsten's hand a reassuring squeeze as they swapped places, oddly Seth sat quietly at the top of his table not really speaking to any of the other kids.

"Hey buddy all set?" Sandy chucked Seth under the chin trying to get him to smile, Seth merely nodded mutely. "Come on little guy you'll love school I promise, think about everyone else whose here by themselves they've got to be really scared at least you've got Ryan."

Seth seemed to take comfort in this fact and wrapped his arms around his father's neck, "Love you daddy."

"Love you too see ya later buddy."

Meeting Kirsten by the door he could see the path the tears had taken down through her make up, wrapping his arm around her waist he lead her back to the car.

Kissing the crown of her head he murmured, "They'll be okay, they've got each other."

* * *

The morning had been spent with Kirsten staring at the first page of the visitors surveys, she was suppose to compile a report on their comments and suggestions for the end of the week. She had yet to turn over to page two, she had phoned Sandy three times already twice just for a chat but the second had been a little more panicked. 

"Sandy, Sandy did I put Ryan's inhaler in his bag? I don't think I did, it was on the kitchen counter and then we went upstairs. He hasn't got it I should call the school…"

"Kirsten sweetie breathe, you put the inhaler in the bag in the side pouch remember. I told Ryan's teacher where it was and she said she would put it in the medicine cupboard later."

"Medicine cabinet? Sandy he needs it with him all the time, what if he takes an attack at recess, I'm going to call the school."

"Kirsten they know all about his asthma okay they have trained staff who know how to use his diffuser. If he has an attack they'll look after him just calm down."

That phone call had been rather embarrassing causing Kirsten to call back half an hour later under the pretence of apologising. Sandy knew it was because she couldn't concentrate he was having the same problem, having read the same file three times now.

They were each miles apart but doing the same thing, watching the seconds tick by on the clock so that come twelve fifteen they could pack up to leave and pick up the kids.

* * *

Again Kirsten and Sandy were gathered with the other parents anxiously waiting for the bell to ring for lunch. The fire doors would be thrown open once again and the kids would come out full of gossip about their very first day of school. 

Continually checking his watch Sandy was pleased when he heard the shrill tones of the bell ring out around the playground. Mrs. James appeared at the door talking animatedly to what the parents presumed was a line of excited children, after a few moments when she was satisfied with their order she pushed open the door.

Much to the annoyance of the parents she was letting the children out in ones and twos so some were left to stand in the wind while others hurried off to cars. Kirsten and Sandy were the unlucky ones, Seth came out the door about seventh or eight but they had to wait until the last for Ryan's blonde head to appear through the door.

All the time they were waiting Seth rambled on about what they had done, naming children Sandy and Kirsten had never even heard of. Eventually Ryan stumbled out the door heaving his bag onto his shoulder as if it contained many books; his face was pulled into a concentrated pout. Sandy and Kirsten shared a worried glance at Ryan's expression; leaning down Kirsten wrapped her arms around her son taking his book bag from him.

"Hey honey how was the first day?" Kirsten smiled and took his hand leading them back to the car.

"'Kay I guess." Ryan mumbled into his blazer.

Sandy noted his sons tone, "What happened buddy?"

"Nothing daddy."

Kirsten stopped him before he hopped into the back of the car, "Ryan what do daddy and I say about lying?"

Not giving a response Ryan knew he had to tell the truth, but he didn't get the chance as Seth decided he would rat him out instead. "Ryan got in trouble because he didn't finish his letters, that's why he had to line up last."

Seth had a strangely smug expression on his face but Ryan just looked hurt, his eyes fixed on the ground he scuffed his feet trying to avoid his parents gaze.

"Ryan? Ryan look at me please," Sandy knelt before him looking into his eyes, "Don't worry about it kid okay you did your best and that's what matters. It was your first day so you have lots of time to finish your letters."

Sandy chucked Ryan under the chin hoping to reassure him, but truth be told he was mad at the teacher for upsetting him on his very first day. Ryan was a sensitive kid he needed to be reassured and encouraged not singled out for his mistakes. Sandy knew that Ryan took pride in his work he had probably spent most of the morning rubbing out and rewriting every letter till he thought it was perfect.

Kirsten had walked around to the other side of the car with Seth, as Sandy buckled Ryan in he could hear his wife giving Seth a stern lecture on tattle tailing. Seth looked very solemn throughout and was obviously feeling chastised as he was strapped in because he stuck his tongue out at his brother when he thought his parents weren't looking.

* * *

Back at home Kirsten had ordered in the boys favourite as a treat, although she couldn't cook a thing their money situation meant they had takeout very rarely. 

They were gathered round the family table delving in to the feast Kirsten had ordered for them, Seth was chatting non stop about everything he had done at school. It seemed that his initial jitters had dispersed quickly and he had thoroughly enjoyed his first day of school.

Ryan was more sedate, only adding in little remarks here and there. Sandy and Kirsten were pleased at the report they were receiving glad that tomorrow would an easier day on everyone. They had learned from when the boys were born that routine was everything, the quicker they set one up the easier the transition would be.

After dinner Kirsten and Sandy tidied up while the boys played outside, Sandy was very glad neither had homework yet he got the feeling Mrs. James would be handing out work soon enough, so he let the boys enjoy their free time while they still had it.

* * *

Kirsten had already bathed Seth and was drying him off in their room while Sandy conditioned Ryan's hair. They were talking about the boy's day and Ryan was expressing his disgust at the uniform again moaning about how much it itched. 

The room fell into silence as Ryan splashed with his bath toys, looking up at his father he questioned, "Daddy do I have to go back tomorrow?"

Laughing Sandy scooped him up in the towel, "I'm afraid so kiddo."

* * *

That was chapter eight - poor S&K saying bye to the boys. Next chapter is a little more angst because the boys are six and as we all know this is when Kirstens mother dies. So hope you can wait till I write it because it'll be a difficult one. 

Please review!


	9. Stone Cold Sober

**Stone Cold Sober  
**

Disclaimer – I own nothing to do with The O.C, they belong to Josh and the people at Fox!

A/N; Here is chapter nine– can't believe I've written this many already! This chapter was the hardest to write because in this one we see some tension between Sandy and Kirsten. This is in keeping with the true story line, where Kirsten's mother gets ill and they have to move back to Newport!

This chapter isn't particularly well written so please don't be disappointed as you have been forewarned. There is very little talking or speech in this chapter mainly just descriptive paragraphs so I hope it is okay!

The boys are now around six years old and are leaving Berkeley to move to Newport. I hope the tension in this chapter doesn't upset anyone but I thought it would be good to add in.!

Enjoy and please review!

* * *

Sandy drew up outside the house and immediately spotted the boys playing in the garden three doors down. He automatically searched around for Kirsten; she never let the boys play outside without her watching. She was too worried that Ryan would take an asthma attack so she would confine the boys to their own front yard and perch on the bench watching them like a hawk. 

Locking the car he waved at the boys and Sharon, the young single mum whose garden the boys were playing in. Pushing open the front door he automatically knew something was wrong, the boy's school bags and blazers lay in a heap by the door. Kirsten never let them out to play without hanging up their uniforms and completing their homework.

"Kirsten? Honey?" Sandy searched through the house he found Kirsten in the boy's room stuffing their clothes into bags haphazardly. He could tell she had been crying the tear stains still fresh on her cheeks; her hair was frazzled as if she hadn't dried it and she wore an old sweat suit that was reserved for painting and spring cleaning.

"Honey what's the matter? Why are you packing?"

"We have to go; Mom said we could stay at the house until we get sorted. I told the school the boys won't be there for a while. I'm sorry Sandy I know how you feel but I have to go. I just have to."

Kirsten rambled on continuing to throw clothes into the bag, not caring whether she was taking all Seth's summer clothes and none of Ryan's. Sandy was starting to panic; he racked his brain desperate to find out what he had done to make her leave. He couldn't think of anything he had done that would cause her to take the boys and leave.

"Kirsten honey just…" Sandy pulled her away from the bag turning her to face him, "Just stop okay, and tell me what's happened?"

To Sandy's surprise Kirsten broke down before his eyes, she began to wail with sheer emotion and crumpled into a heap in Sandy's arms. "What am I going to do? Sandy I can't lose her I can't."

Sandy sat with his arms around her for what felt like hours, he stayed silent letting her pour out all her emotions respecting her chosen silences. From what he could gather through the choked sobs Kirsten's mother had been diagnosed with cancer, Kirsten being the respectable daughter was packing to move home. He knew she would move home regardless of what anyone said her mother meant the world to her and she would sacrifice the life she had built with him for her.

Sandy loved Anne nearly as much as Kirsten did; he had great respect for anyone who could tame Caleb Nichol. She was a feisty lady in control of her own life but she was never pushy or over bearing knowing just how to get people to do exactly what she wanted. Now that was all under threat, ovarian cancer could take her away from Kirsten and the boys Sandy would give anything not to have to watch Kirsten go through this heartache.

He waited with her until she calmed down lying tucked into his side on the boys floor, they discussed a plan – obviously Kirsten wasn't thinking straight due to the panic Sandy was the rational one at this moment. He had to think about their jobs, the boy's school and the house being left empty for the foreseeable future. There was no question that they would all be moving to Newport but doing it slap dash would help no one.

They came to the conclusion that Kirsten would pack a small bag and travel down by train tomorrow morning. This left Sandy to organise the house, he would call in for emergency leave from work and put in an internal transfer hopefully a position would become available near Newport. He would send the boys to school, there was no need to upset them just yet, giving him time to pack up the house. It wasn't a task Sandy looked forward too – driving down to Newport with the boys would test his patience but he couldn't possible send them with Kirsten.

He hoped that allowing Kirsten a week alone with her mom would settle her down a little, Anne wouldn't stand for her behaviour. She would occupy her time setting up for the boy's arrival and getting them enrolled in school – Anne wouldn't want them to see her as a sick grandmother.

* * *

It had taken longer than Sandy expected to organise their affairs, having to send all the furniture to storage and tie up all his outstanding cases at work. He had been right about Kirsten spending time with her mother it had been good for her - that was until Anne's first chemo session. He had answered the phone only to hear sobbing and crying at the other end. 

The boys had been excited at first when Sandy explained that their mother was going away. They had been left at home with Sandy before and it usually meant pizza for dinner and music played at full volume. This time was very different however, their father was up at the crack of dawn packing up all their belongings only stopping to take them to school and feed them.

Their initial joy turned into upset and confusion as they watched the items from their youth being sent away to storage. Their childhood home becoming emptier by the day eventually it was only the bare minimums that were left.

After everything was in order Sandy was set to drive to Newport on the Friday afternoon, staying over night and arriving on the Saturday. He had taken the boys to school to say goodbye to all of their friends and when they arrived home the whole street was out to say farewell to the Cohen men.

Eventually Sandy had to put his foot down and strapped the crying boys into the car, knowing the longer he stayed the more upset the boys would become. It had finally set in that they were actually leaving and not coming back, the boys loved their old house and it was hard to let go. They couldn't understand why they had to go to Newport, too young to understand their grandmother's illness.

The drive to the inn had been uneventful the boys entertained themselves by linking together their gameboys for a battle. Booking in Sandy was glad to finally be able to hit the sack having bathed and changed the boys single-handedly. He lay looking at the sleeping boys who had ended up sleeping together in the same bed even though they had protested and demanded a pullout bed for one of them. He had always been glad the boys had each other but never more so than now. He would be too preoccupied with Kirsten and her emotions to provide constant entertainment for two six years olds plus the fact that they were starting at a totally new school with lots of preppy little savages.

They were looking forward to living with their grandparents, they knew that they would be spoiled and get whatever their hearts desired. Sandy suspected that now Anne had been diagnosed with a terminal disease she would want to spend as much time with her grandsons as she could fit in. No doubt she would be leaving a long list of instructions for Caleb on what he had to do with the boys in the future.

Sandy couldn't begin to understand what Caleb must be going through, he didn't know what he would do if Kirsten were ever to get sick. He couldn't imagine his life without her; he knew for sure that he wouldn't be able to cope. Sandy shook his head forcefully trying to push those horrid thoughts away from him, rolling over he settled into the pillows for some sleep.

* * *

Six months had past since the Cohen clan moved to Newport Beach to be with Kirsten's mother. Anne had been getting progressively worse since they had moved in, at first she had tried to be her normal self but the chemo took its toll on her body. 

They had kept the boys off school for the first month to allow them to spend time with Anne before she couldn't be active anymore. She did everything with them, a different thing everyday; sailing, shopping, the zoo anything the boys wanted it was done. Then reluctantly they were sent off to Harbour Elementary every morning, they boys were not impressed with their new school.

Kirsten had been offered a job at the Newport group with her father and was free to start anytime she wanted, Sandy's transfer had come through and he was working in the PD's office.

Sandy had been woken this morning to see Kirsten crouched in the closet wrapped in her mom's old shawl crying like a baby. This had become a regular occurrence since they had moved in but today something had changed – she didn't stop when he woke up. She was no longer trying to hid the fact that she was crying, moving round beside her he wrapped his arms around her.

"Babe?" Kirsten ceased her sobbing for a few moments to look him in the eyes. Sandy knew immediately what had happened during the night – Anne had left them.

* * *

A week had passed since Anne died, Kirsten had been distraught unable to clear her head she had stayed in bed. With Caleb in a similar state and Hailey too young to help Sandy had been left to deal with the majority of funeral arrangements. Anne had taken care of most things before she died but he still had to spread word throughout the town and field the barrage of condolences. 

It was also left up to Sandy to explain what had happened to the boys, they sensed the changes in the house but they weren't clear on the facts. Sandy had struggled that day to tell them what was happening, they were scared of the doctors and funeral directors coming and going. In the end Sandy had related their grandmother's death back to the death of their pre-school hamster. They seemed to accept his explanation going about their daily business as usual.

The boys stood before him now dressed in pristine black suits with crisp white shirts and jet black ties. Usually they hated getting dressed up but had given no protests today merely dressing sombrely by themselves. They stood quietly by Sandy's side waiting patiently for the procession to leave the house, many people they didn't recognise milled about their grandparents home. They hadn't seen their mother in nearly three days which only added to their worry, hearing clicking footsteps approaching they turned to view their mother.

Kirsten had made the effort to tidy herself up, but it was clear beneath the make up that she was unwell. Sandy had been worried about her hidden away in her room and he suspected that more often than not at night she had been slipping out to enjoy a drink or two. It was one of Kirsten's guilty secrets that she enjoyed her alcohol., she covered it in the past by quoting her student status but now she had nothing to hide behind.

She made a beeline over to Sandy keeping her eyes pinned to the floor so that no one would approach her. Sandy wrapped his arm around her waist protectively, he felt Ryan slip his hand into his squeezing tightly. Seth walked toward his mother and took her hand as well burying his head into her waist. Sandy had never been more proud of his children, they were only six but were mature enough to recognise their mother's pain and offer their unconditional support.

* * *

The service was rather long and drawn out with a packed church each wanting their turn to speak about Mrs. Caleb Nichol. Sandy sat behind Kirsten, allowing her to be with her father and sister, with one boy either side of him. During one of the hymns Kirsten had remained seated another small breakdown occurring due to Anne's favourite song being played, before Sandy could stop him Ryan had made a break for his mother. All eyes were on him as he made his way forward, Caleb spotted him first and to Sandy's surprise extended his arms out to him. Ryan launched himself up into his grandfather's arms and was overtaken by emotion, bursting into tears as Caleb rocked him soothingly. Waiting for the song to end Sandy leaned forward and offered to take Ryan back but Caleb merely shook his head slightly and sat spreading Ryan across his lap. 

Only immediate family and close friends were invited up to the cemetery, which meant Caleb, Hailey, the Cohen's and a shocked Jimmy Cooper who had insisted on not going. Caleb assured him that Anne had issued orders for him to be there because he 'was like the son she never had', which had brought Jimmy to tears.

On returning to the house Kirsten had immediately disappeared up to her room, much to the disappointment of the Newpsies. Sandy had spotted her making a pit stop at the fridge first to remove a bottle of vodka, not even caring who was watching her. Sandy got caught up in the procession of well wishers being the official Cohen representative; this also meant that he lost sight of the boys.

Breaking away from the crowds he made his way up to their room hoping to tempt Kirsten out with the promise of crab cakes. Upon entering his bedroom he found three people instead of one, the boys were curled up by their mother on the bed asleep, their heads resting in her lap. Their suits had been tossed aside and lay all around the bed, Kirsten too had changed out of her dress into something more comfortable. Joining the three in bed Sandy kissed each tenderly on the forehead so as not to wake them from their slumber. Positioning himself on the bed he felt an odd shape prodding into his side, reaching down under the covers he pulled out the bottle of vodka. Kirsten had nearly emptied it and had obviously hidden it there upon the boys entrance Sandy dropped the bottle into the bin next to the bed.

Stroking the hair form her face he whispered, "Oh honey what are we going to do?"

* * *

It had been three weeks since the funeral and Kirsten was still on her drinking binge. Sandy had tried everything he could think of to get her to stop she always found a way around him. The boys were back at school and he was back at work everyone had started moving on but Kirsten just seemed to be stuck. 

She was getting worse by the day, her ability to look after the boys was beginning to worry Sandy. Often he rushed home from work to make sure they were fed and put to bed before sitting up till the small hours trying to catch up on work. He knew that it couldn't go on but snapping her out of it wasn't going to be easy, he loved her more than anything but hated seeing her like this.

The final straw came when Sandy drove into the driveway nearly crushing his eldest son beneath the car. Slamming on the brakes he stopped just short of Seth's body, jumping out he hauled Seth up off the concrete.

"What the hell, Seth I could've killed you." They made a policy of not swearing in front of the boys but Sandy was in shock the boys were not allowed to play out the front. "What the hell are you doing out here?"

"Mommy said I could ride my skates down the hill, sorry daddy." Sandy looked down at Seth's roller skate clad feet.

That was it - Kirsten could drink all she wanted and ruin her own life but there was no way he would stand by and watch his boys get hurt. Carrying Seth under his arm he marched into the house, depositing Seth next to his brother in the den he searched out his wife.

He found her slumped over in a deck chair by the pool an empty glass by her hand. Sighing he walked into their bedroom and threw some of his clothes into a holdall, going into the boys room he did the same thing. Returning to the den he threw down the bag and ordered the boys to put on their shoes and coats.

"Kirsten? Kirsten.." He towered above her blocking the sun form her face, waiting for some form of coherent response.

"Sandy?" The response was groggy and slightly slurred.

Gripping her by the shoulders Sandy forced her up into the sitting position. "I can't take this anymore Kirsten. I love you but I can't stand seeing you like this. I've tried everything I can think of but you don't listen. I can't do it anymore honey I'm sorry butI thinkyou need to do this by yourself."

He turned away from her and wiped the tears from his eyes as he entered the house, the boys stood by the front door next to the travel bag. Sighing he lifted the heavy strap onto his shoulder and took the boys by the hand.

Behind him he heard footsteps hurry into the room, "Sandy? Sandy what are you doing? Where are you going?"

Ushering the boys out the door before he replied, he would shield them from this as best he could, "I told you Kirsten I can't do this anymore. You need to stop drinking and I can't force you, you have to stop on your own."

"I'll stop Sandy I promise I will. Where…where are you going?"

"The Mermaid for a few days after that I don't know maybe I'll go visit ma for a while."

"You can't take the boys!" Kirsten had cottoned on to what he was saying and desperation set in. "You're not taking the boys from me Sandy, I won't let you."

Ignoring her pleas Sandy proceeded out the door and unlocked the car ensuring the boys were strapped in safely. He threw the bag onto the front seat and took a deep breath in he never thought he would be walking away from Kirsten.

"Sandy! Sandy don't…don't go," Kirsten was clinging to him trying to force him to stay when she saw this wouldn't work she got violent and started to pound her fist upon his shoulders. Stepping around her easily Sandy lowered himself into the car and started the engine.

"You're not taking my children, I won't let you take my babies." She vainly pulled at the car doors forgetting in her drunken stupor that the security locks prevented the doors from being opened when the engine was switched on.

Sandy lowered his window a crack, "Maybe you should have thought of them before you went on a bender. I'll call you later – I love you."

Sandy pulled out of the drive way listening to his son's cries in the back broke his heart but it was for their own good. Sneaking a look back in the mirror he saw Kirsten kneeling where he had left her still crying for her family.

"I'm sorry baby I hope you can forgive me some day."

* * *

Wow well there you go - like it or hate it please review! 

That wasn't on the books when I started writing and I have totally mucked up my plans. Now I have to go write another aditional chapter!

Please review and be patient for the next chapter.


	10. Be My Downfall

Disclaimer – I own nothing to do with The O.C, they belong to Josh and the people at Fox!

A/N; well the last chapter was a surprise to all including me! Hadn't planned the ending the way it turned out but I think it turned out okay. This chapter was written as an additional one I had planned to go ahead in time to when the boys were seven but I knew that it wouldn't be possible anymore.

So this chapter is all Kirsten's point of view, written in first person. The idea is that she is at an AA meeting and it's her turn to speak. Time has moved on and she is letting everyone know what has happened since Sandy left.

Warning; this chapter was written as an additional one it wasn't expected. Therefore it isn't long at all or particularly good (well not my usual standards anyway.) I hope that the next chapter will please you as it is written by an on form me not a panicked at the sudden story twist me.

Enjoy and please review!

* * *

"Hi everyone my names Kirsten and I'm an alcoholic. 

Yesterday was a really hard day for me, it was my mom's birthday and all day I really wanted a drink. I did everything I could to keep myself busy but I really miss her. She'd be so mad if she knew what I'd done after she died – I nearly lost everything.

When she was diagnosed Sandy gave up everything for me and I threw it back in his face. He gave up his job, his friends, his whole life and I never appreciated what he was doing for me. I got stuck in a rut I suppose; I kept going over everything in my mind. I was blaming myself for her illness trying to find someway to make the pain…just go away.

So I started to drink, I guess you guys know that since I'm here. It started off with a second glass of chardonnay at dinner but it built up I started needing vodka just to get out of bed. The day of the funeral I drank nearly a full bottle own my own, everyone knew I was drunk at the ceremony. Looking back now I'm so embarrassed I can't face any of my friends or my family I feel like I disrespected them and most of all my mother.

The worst thing I did that day though was drink in front of my boys, they came to comfort me and I rejected them. I hid myself away in the bedroom, trying to stop them all staring at me, so my boys they came to find me. I yelled at them told them to leave me alone they looked so lost but the didn't go they just sat with me till I broke down and cried.

After that day I stopped thinking about them when I drank, before I had always tried to act normal around them – but when they stayed with me it was like they accepted what I was doing. They didn't ask me to stop or me what I was doing they just stayed with me and I guess I thought that they understood. I realise now how wrong I was they're just babies they can't understand.

The day I hit rock bottom was when Sandy left me – he just took the boys and left. I couldn't make out what he was saying to me it was like a dream but then he drove away and I knew he wasn't coming back. At least not until I got help, sorted myself out but it got worse before it could get better.

When my father got home I was still where Sandy left me, just sitting in the driveway sobbing. He asked what had happened and when I told him he wasn't surprised, he looked at me with pity and I hated it. I knew then that I had to change what I was doing, if my own father thought Sandy was doing the right thing by taking my children from me.

I locked myself away in our bedroom trying to stop, at times when I didn't think I could go on when I really wanted a drink I would look at a picture of the boys taped to the back of the door. Seeing them smiling and laughing made me focus it made me think about what I was losing.

It took months before Sandy came back, he'd taken the boys up to his mothers for a holiday – or at least that's what he told them. I don't think they believed him but they couldn't understand what was really going on. He came home but stayed in the hotel he wanted to be sure I was honest about being sober he wouldn't hurt the boys anymore. At first I was so angry at him for taking them away; he kept them from me even when they were back in Newport. I realised when I finally saw them that he had done what was right all along – they hadn't seen me go through the detox so they still loved me and treated me like normal. There was no pity or disappointment in their eyes just happiness at our reunion; I've got Sandy to thank for that.

They still know things have changed though its like they're trying to overcompensate for our tensions. Seth runs around all day long trying to keep us busy, he thinks if he can get us to play together that we'll sort out our differences. He fills all our silent gaps with noise and when we get snappy at each other he takes one of us away, out of the conflict. He's so clever for his age trying to fix us in the only way he knows how.

Ryan's so different though, he's so sensitive to our feelings. The other day I was tidying up some pictures and he crawled up into my lap, content just to sit there and be with me. I think when Sandy was away Ryan really helped him through; he takes so much responsibility on his shoulders. He stays with us when we're upset and he asks questions about our day or about the world to change our focus. We try not to fight in front of them but they know what's going on – I hope some day that they'll forgive me for what I put them through.

I've got to take this as a positive experience, I know now that I never want to put them through anything like this ever again. They need me just as much as I need them, without them I never would have gotten help. I wouldn't be able to sit here today and talk about my addiction without their support.

Thanks for listening to me today I really feel better getting things off my chest, I just hope that in the future I'll make them proud of me.

* * *

Well that was Kirsten's confession - next up we're back with normal family life. 

Please review now!


	11. Not Where It's At

**Not Where it's At **

Disclaimer – I own nothing to do with The O.C, they belong to Josh and the people at Fox!

A/N; This is chapter eleven, one I had actually planned to include originally. In this chapter we are back to normal family life, Kirsten is still on the wagon and it's easier not to refer back to what happened.

The boys are now seven and attending Harbour Elementary, the Cohen clan have moved into their own home after Kirsten recovered. This chapter focuses on the boy's life again; Ryan is having some problems with 'those preppy little savages'.

Enjoy and please review!

* * *

"Mom! Mom!" Seth's voice bellowed down the stairs, reaching his mothers ears as she bustled around the kitchen. 

Leaving the bagel half buttered she made her way out to bottom of the stairs, "Seth if you want something come here and ask me don't yell."

Kirsten laughed as she heard her son sigh loudly and stomp out to the landing, "Yes mother dearest. Have you seen my gym shorts?"

Returning her son's sarcastic grin she answered, "No darling but perhaps you should try the pile of ironing _still_ lying on your bed!"

As if a light bulb suddenly came on above his head Seth high-tailed it off back toward his room yelling, "See that's why I don't put it away, makes it easier to find."

Shaking her head Kirsten turned back to the kitchen, her husband now stood where she had been dripping sea water all over the counter. Tutting she grab her bagel away from him as he rooted around for the last sesame seed bagel he'd spied earlier.

"Your son ate it." Kirsten butted in, giving him a statement that didn't help at all.

"Huh?"

"Your – son – ate – it."

Realising what she meant he gave up his search and headed toward her, "Oh so what am I going to have for breakfast then?"

Wrapping his arms around her he ducked down and took a huge bite out of her bagel, spying cream cheese on his lips Kirsten kissed him deeply. Last year this type of intimacy between them would have been out of the question but all of them had worked so hard to repair family life.

Hearing a disgusted grunt from the doorway, Kirsten broke away in time to see Seth's hand fly up to shield his eyes. "Urgh do you guys have to do that in the kitchen, it's where I eat."

Smiling the pair broke apart, "Did you find your shorts sweetie?"

"Yip." That was all an answer Kirsten got as Seth filled himself out an excessively large bowl of cereal.

"Where's your brother?" Sandy asked handing him the milk from the fridge; again Seth gave a signal instead of the required response. He merely shrugged his shoulders and motioned in the general vicinity of the stairs.

As if on cue Ryan shuffled into the kitchen, ignoring his parents he slumped down onto his stool and made no move to start with breakfast. His hair was still ruffled as if he hadn't combed it at all and his clothes were thrown on slap dash not caring whether they matched or not.

"Hey sweetie, what's the matter?" Kirsten set down her breakfast and made he way purposefully over to her young son. Spinning him around in the seat, she placed a firm hand across his forehead her eyes taking on their usual worried spark when Ryan was ill.

"I don't feel well mom." Ryan pulled his best puppy dog eyes at his mother and leaned heavily on the counter top.

"You don't feel warm honey, is your tummy sore?" Kirsten withdrew her hand and took his wrist leading him away to the den. Gripping him tighter she forced him to sit down on the couch, "Is your chest sore sweetie, do you want your inhaler? Sandy, Sandy get his inhaler…"

As usual Kirsten began to flap over Ryan, which for once was exactly what he wanted. Sandy stepped in lifting Ryan's spare inhaler from the kitchen cupboard, he knew it wasn't needed but it made Kirsten feel secure.

"Kirsten calm down, Ryan lie down kiddo." Sandy shifted Kirsten off the couch as he took her space next to Ryan.

"Okay I think you should stay off school, I've got some paper work to do so I'll work from home." Ruffling Ryan's hair he left to phone his office knowing Kirsten would fuss over Ryan until she left to take Seth to school.

* * *

Later that afternoon Sandy emerged from his office to the sounds of Ryan laughing ringing down the halls. Popping his head into the den without him noticing Sandy watched as his supposedly ill son stuffed chips down his throat and laughed ecstatically at the cartoons. 

"How you feeling now champ?" Sandy cleared his throat and moved into the centre of the room. Quickly Ryan pushed the chips away from him and snuggled back down under the covers, his eyes had the classic 'deer in the headlights' look.

"Uh umm okay…okay I guess." He tried his best to sound ill once again.

"Okay come on what's going on?" Sandy removed the hidden chips and sat next to his son.

Ryan lowered his gaze avoiding his father's eyes, "Nothing."

"Ryan don't lie to me."

"I'm not dad I didn't feel well this morning but I feel better now 'coz I slept and then…" Ryan took on Seth's favourite excuse of rambling incoherently until the parent forgot what the original question had been.

"Okay but no playing when Seth gets home, you'll do your homework and then get an early night." Sandy used the old trick on Ryan, half punishing half believing in case either scenario was the true one.

* * *

A week had passed since Ryan's dubious illness episode; Kirsten had hovered over Ryan the night and following day constantly checking to make sure he was alright. 

Exactly a week later the morning routine was the same; Seth couldn't find his gym shorts, Sandy was drip drying in the kitchen looking for bagles and once again Ryan was shuffling around the kitchen.

This time Sandy took charge, he refused to pander to Ryan's antics sending him up stairs to get his backpack. Kissing Kirsten gently he followed his son up the stairs and watched him angrily grab his bag wiping furiously at his eyes.

It took a moment before Sandy realised that Ryan was crying, "Hey buddy what's wrong huh?"

Dropping down to his knees Sandy wrapped his arms firmly around Ryan as he struggled to hold back his tears. This was what Sandy had feared when Ryan started to act up at home in the mornings, children could be so cruel he just had to get to the bottom of what they had done to Ryan.

"Shhh its okay honey, whatever it is you can tell me." Sandy soothed trying to comfort Ryan.

"Nothing's wrong." The standard answer that Ryan choked out through the sobs.

With that he wiped his eyes one more time and lifted his bag fleeing from the room. Sandy was left there on the floor on his own wondering what he could do to get Ryan to talk to him. He couldn't do anything to help him if he didn't talk about it, maybe he could corner Seth and get him to confess.

* * *

Later that day the boys stood alongside their other classmates warmed by the sun listening to the teacher try to work out the rules of baseball. It was the same routine every Wednesday they were sent to get changed then filed out onto the playing field for the humiliating games. 

"Okay team captains…um Luke and Sam I think it's your turn. Sam you can be blue bibs, take turns to choose ten players each guys."

Seth and Ryan stood beside one another knowing they wouldn't be picked anytime soon, all the popular kids would be the first to be chosen. They watched helplessly as the jock boys were picked off first followed by the good looking girls. Eventually leaving just Janice - an overweight stalker girl who had a crush on Luke and Ryan. Seth had been picked the turn before by Luke deciding he was the best of a bad lot even though Seth couldn't catch or throw a ball to save his life.

"Umm okay we pick Janice." Sam conferred with his team mates and decided much to Ryan's horror that she would fair better than him.

Almost immediately Ryan heard the sighs and groan of Luke's team, he could hear the murmurs from the girls as they complained about being stuck with him.

Luke shoved his way to the front and sneered at Ryan, "Alright pipsqueak here's the deal stay at the back and don't go near the ball."

The team spread out ready to start fielding; Ryan wandered aimlessly to the outskirts of the field knowing the ball would never come his way.

"Ryan, Ryan come here please." The teacher yelled above everyone drawing unwanted attention to Ryan, "Stay close to me please we don't want you to have an attack, you can stay at first base. Chip swap with Ryan please."

Again Ryan kept his head down and scuffed his feet as he listened to the other children groaning as he switched places. He hated his asthma it meant he was always picked last for teams and he had to stay near the teacher so that she could be ready with his inhaler.

Chip approached him with an angry expression on his face, as he passed Ryan he slammed his shoulder into him knocking him off course. Ryan muttered an apology and continued on his journey not wanting to make the situation worse.

As the game went on Ryan was getting more and more frustrated, Luke shadowed him everywhere trying to stop him catching the ball. The other team didn't help matters either continually hitting the ball his way so that they would get more runs.

Greg Mathers one of the biggest boys in his year stepped up to the plate with a menacing look on his face. Taking aim he swung as hard as his arms would allow, the ball sailed through the air heading straight for Ryan's hands.

Finally Ryan had his chance to prove his classmates wrong, to show them that he was worth something. He kept his eyes fixed on the ball cupping his hands in anticipation, but just at the moment when he knew he was catching the ball for sure he was swept to the side by Luke's heavy weight.

Both stumbled but stayed on their feet, Ryan watched with anger as the ball hit the ground allowing Greg to take off in a sprint toward the first base. He stood stock still waiting for Luke to pounce upon the ball and run off to stop him but to his shock Luke turned on him.

"What are you doing? I called for it and you got in the way now they're going to win and it's all your fault."

Ryan felt something inside him snap he'd had enough of Luke, "My fault! It was my fault? It was coming straight for me I nearly had it and you pushed me out the way."

Luke paused for a moment wondering what had happened that Ryan was actually answering back to him, losing his temper completely Luke lunged forward shoving Ryan hard. "I told you not to touch the ball."

Ryan felt his feet tangle as he headed for the ground, falling backward he held out his arms to soften the fall. The whole class had stopped to watch the argument some shouting encouragement as Mrs. Gray made her way over to the pair.

The jeers stopped however when a sickening crack was heard as Ryan made contact with the ground. Feeling his arm twist in no way it had ever before Ryan let out a shriek feeling pain bolt up his arm.

Luke stood motionless as the colour drained from his face, he realised what had happened looking at Ryan's now deformed wrist. He stepped back quickly as the children gathered round to watch Ryan's suffering, Seth pushed his way to the front wanting near his little brother.

"Ryan you okay? Ah look at your wrist man its all twisted and messed up." Seth looked up at his brother and quickly shut his mouth as he noticed the tears cascading from Ryan's eyes.

"Harry go inside now and tell Mrs. Curly what's happened, she needs to come here with a first aid box. Ryan it'll be okay just don't panic I don't need you to have an attack on top of this. Luke Ward you go inside this instant and sit outside Mr Williams's office."

Ryan closed his eyes tight and tried to concentrate on his breathing, he really wanted his dad right now. His parents were not going to take this well at all especially his mother.

* * *

The next morning a very solemn Sandy and Kirsten sat in the car dressed in their best business suits. They were headed to the school for a meeting with Mr. Williams, the head of harbour elementary; they had demanded a meeting to discuss Luke's actions. 

The night before had been spent in the emergency room, long hours waiting for doctors to come and go. On initial examination they had been assured that Ryan's wrist was broken it was just a case of setting it and slapping a cast on.

It wasn't a big deal to a staff that saw this kind of thing daily but Sandy had been enraged. He had received a call at work that Ryan was being taken to hospital, of course he was worried but he expected it to be another episode. On arrival when he was told that Ryan's wrist had been broken in a fight he had completely lost his temper at the staff demanding to be told where he was and what was being done about his injury. Of course he wasn't angry at the staff or Ryan but at himself for letting something so major go unchallenged, he should have persisted with Ryan demanded to be told the truth.

Seeing Ryan hurt in a hospital bed again made Kirsten go to pieces, she lay in the bed with him stroking his hair and watching every flash on the monitor. Sandy had slipped into lawyer mode and interrogated both boys until the whole truth had been shared.

They had had a long talk the night before and decided that they needed to sort out the problem at the source. That was why they had taken the morning off work to meet with the head of the school, Kirsten knew from Sandy's mannerisms that he was ready for a fight.

They had kept both boys at home, deciding that evasive action would get the attention of the school. Hailey had gladly taken the day off school to watch the boys although she did have to suffer a long winded lecture from Kirsten about responsibility and trust.

Entering the office she felt like she was going into battle, but she knew with Sandy by her side they would come out on top.

"Sandy Kirsten lovely to see you again I just wish it was under better circumstances. Are the boys with you?" Mr. Williams launched straight into the pleasantries and ass kissing hoping to do some damage limitation.

"No we left them at home, we don't want them attending school until this situation has been rectified to our satisfaction." Kirsten had to hide a smile; nearly cracking up at Sandy's use of language he hadn't been quite so polite in private yesterday.

"Oh I don't think there's any need for that. It was an accident, just a school boy mishap."

"Mishap, he broke his arm." This immediately got Kirsten's blood up, how dare he try to play this down.

"I'm well aware of the damage done but there's no need to withdraw the boys from school. I met with the boys parents yesterday and I'm satisfied with his story."

"What story? He broke Ryan's wrist over a baseball game, not only that but as far as we can tell Luke's been bullying Ryan for sometime now."

"Oh now I don't think that's possible here at Harbour we have a very strict policy on bullying. Ryan has never reported anything to us about being harassed."

"He's a child, he was sacred it would make things worse, last week he pretended to be ill so that he could stay home. As far as Ryan knows the boys don't like him because of his asthma, maybe you should educate the children better about a condition over which Ryan has no control."

"What about punishment, how are you going to stop this happening again?" Sandy gripped Kirsten's hand tightly as she wiped away tears guilt consuming her again.

"Luke will have to attend detention and has been taken off the soccer team. As well as this he has written an apology to Ryan and his parents assure me that he'll be punished at home."

"What get $20 instead of his usual $30 this week?" Sandy mumbled under his breath frustrated at the attitude toward Ryan's treatment.

Ignoring the obvious comment Mr. Williams pushed on, "Maybe you should consider getting Ryan some help his teachers noted that he has some self esteem issues."

"What! Ryan is assaulted and he's the one being sent to counselling, he's so quiet because he was being bullied. Oh forget it obviously the Wards have already presented their check so nothing we say will make a difference." Sandy's voice rose, something he never did unless very upset, he rose from his seat and headed toward the door.

"Perhaps Mr. Cohen we could move Luke class? Would that be acceptable to you? He could be placed in the composite class which would mean he would be away from Ryan."

Kirsten had kept her cool and could see the obvious problems with this, "No that'll only make matters worse, Luke will be upset at being moved from his friends. I think what you've suggested should do fine but we'd appreciate it if you kept a closer eye on Ryan and Seth in the playground."

"Of course I'm sorry this had to happen but rest assured it will never happen again."

Leaving the room hand in hand Sandy threw back over his shoulder, "It better not."

* * *

Well there you go – poor little Ryan being picked on. I know it seems like everything happens to him but I thought that Seth would've stayed quiet in the argument – a little of Ryan's true nature coming out there lol. 

Please review now!


	12. Don't Come Home Too Soon

**Don't Come Home Too Soon**

**Disclaimer; **I own nothing to do with The O.C

AN; okay folks unfortunately this is the last chapter for the foreseeable future – I've run out of ideas! I've written out all my ideas and really loved this story but now I'm fresh out don't know what else I can put the boys through.

So here's what I wanted to know – what do you want to see happen? I know that this is dangerous territory as I may not like all your ideas and not write them, but I trust my reviewers not to flame me too much. All I'm looking for is some general ideas things that happen to kids from the age of nine onward, major events etc. Maybe things happen differently in the U.S which I am not aware of. I never really planned for this story to follow the boys until they are teenagers but it doesn't feel right to end it just yet.

Anyway all suggestions welcome – just don't be disappointed if I don't write them!

In this chapter the boys head off to Camp Takaho for summer vacation so I hope you like it.

Enjoy and please review!

* * *

"Did you pack enough clean underpants? I labelled all your clothes and packed lots of spares you'll probably get dirty, dad put some extra cash in your side pouch don't touch it unless it's an emergency." 

"Honey."

"Ryan your spare inhaler and diffuser are in the front give them to the instructor when you get there and keep yours with you all the time. If you get tight chested just let them know don't keep on with the activities."

"Honey."

"They have all kinds of events but if you don't want to do them don't. Either of you okay if you feel scared or uncomfortable just bow out don't play the hero. We'll call as much as we can if you want us to come get you just ask okay we'll come no questions asked."

"Honey! Please just stop okay, the boys will be fine. This is a structured organised event no need to worry plus they'll be there with kids from school."

"I just want to be sure we can get to them if they forget something. It's their first time away and it's a long time to be away from us I just want them to be safe."

"You're panicking because your babies are going away I get it okay but…"

"Dad we are not babies and we're only going away for a week because you're being over protective. Everybody else is staying way longer than us we're gonna look like such dorks."

Sandy surveyed his sons who were gathered near the door adorned with hats; long sleeve t-shirts and a thick layer of sun screen. They were surrounded by bags stuffed full of things they didn't need for their week away, it was only a week per Kirsten's insistence. The boys had wanted to stay for longer but Kirsten had panicked at the thought booking a family trip abroad just so they would have to come home.

Camp Takaho had placed fliers all over the school a broacher had even been sent home to all parents with a letter encouraging them to reserve places. The strap line read, "A safe healthy environment to encourage your child's inner abilities."

Sandy had been sceptical about sending the boys to a happy clappy camp along with football players and cheer leaders but recognised their need for a bit of freedom. Kirsten had been frantic at the thought of sending her boys away but she came round to the idea after some gentle persuading from Sandy, the offer of a little alone time appealed to her. Although she had gone over the camps procedures about ten times and asked more questions than all the other parents put together.

She had been buying the boys new clothes since they had booked up their places, she had clothes for every eventuality; underwear, vests, shorts, t-shirts, sweaters, pants and water proof jackets. The boys had moaned and groaned their way through every shopping trip pointing out the obvious to Kirsten about sun block and insect repellent they couldn't stand her smothering they were too excited.

Sandy sighed they had had this conversation with the boys countless times before, "You guys are only going for a week because we're going to holiday, you guys have got to be looking forward to that."

"Yeah us four and grandpa." Ryan added in sarcastically they all knew that the trip would be spent being dragged around random museums and galleries.

"Never mind kiddo at least you guys get three weeks away instead of two. Lots of exciting adventures to tell your friends when we get back - your class assignment will be no problem."

"Okay guys we have to get going or you'll miss the bus." Kirsten chimed in lifting the lightest bag she could find leaving the rest to the boys.

* * *

The boys stood awkwardly among the rest of the children from all over California, everybody was looking around in awe at the monstrous pine forest before them. Newport Beach wasn't exactly a city it had plenty of greenery around it but none of them had ever seen such a vast wilderness before. 

The bus had finally left fifteen minutes late after the mothers had gotten all of their final smothering over and done with. Kirsten of course had been amongst the worse she was the only mother saying goodbye to two of her children.

The fathers had stood aside laughing and joking about their wives, each trying to insist that their own sons would excel at sports while away. Usually Sandy didn't partake in this macho activity but he felt a surge of pride when the other fathers comment on his boy's athleticism – well they said boys but he knew they meant Ryan.

So here they stood with many many bags in tow waiting to be sectioned off into their respective groups. Ryan had already been taken aside and questioned repeatedly on 'his condition' and what he could or could not do. Of course being a nine year old boy he had insisted that he could do anything he wanted but he was sure the counsellors weren't buying it.

They all obediently sectioned off, a scheme suppose to teach competitiveness, they clearly didn't realise that everything in Newport was a competition in the eyes of pushy parents. As expected the boys were swiftly split up into two opposing sections; Ryan in the tigers and Seth in the panthers. Both were very glad to see that Luke was taken put in a different section from both of them.

* * *

The first few days were to be taken up with many different activities to find out what they were all best at. Seth had whined and moaned about how pointless the whole process was because he already knew what he was good at and they would be leaving before any teams were formed anyway. 

Ryan thought the full week would be spent listening to Seth bitch about how rubbish a time he was having. To his utter surprise Seth full embraced all of the events climbing the ropes first, diving head first into the lake even helping out in the kitchens at meal times.

Knowing his brother was safe and relaxed helped Ryan to relax in turn; finally away from Kirsten he had the opportunity to spread his wings. He had his first taste of baseball and found swimming an activity he could do without even getting short of breath he would have to suggest it when he got home.

Ryan was busy drying and putting away the cutlery after the days evening meal when his eye was caught by the most strangest of sights.

Seth and a girl.

A really pretty girl.

She had emerald green eyes and long dark hair that just touched the top her shoulders and no more. Seth was talking animatedly to her throwing his hands all around in an attempt to bring the story to life. She was giggling furiously and her cheeks glowed red from the laughter, her eyes were completely focused on Seth not aware of any of the others in the room.

Grinning widely Ryan looked back down at his dishes, the got through a couple more before his curiosity returned glancing up he was surprised to see Seth and the mystery girl missing. He scanned all around the room and caught side of Seth's curly hair disappearing out the door toward the camp fire.

* * *

The next morning Ryan made his way over to Seth's table quickly, they weren't suppose to sit together but he hoped no one would notice for one day. Plopping down between Seth and another boy he tried hard to ignore the stares from the other children who didn't recognise the stranger in their midst. 

"Hey bro?" Ryan grinned shovelling cereal into his mouth.

"Ryan? You aren't suppose to sit here…"

"What happened to you last night?" Ryan cut him off getting to the point fast in case he was discovered. "I came to find you at association where'd you go?"

A boy with fiery red hair and countless freckles nearly choked on his toast, his head shot up and his face beamed with a toothy smile. "He was with _Sarah_…"

"Shut up _Colin_." Seth snapped at him, his ears beginning to tinge with red.

"Seth and Sarah sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i…" This was as far as he got before Seth delivered a swift kick to his right knee.

"I just went outside Ry no big deal. You know its called association so we associate with others." He tried to sound nonchalant but failed miserably the red glow he had now taken on giving him away instantly.

"So who's Sarah?"

Again Colin spoke up taking far too much pleasure in Seth's embarrassment, "A girl in the Lions, I saw them both last night they were on the log by the fire and they were kissing!"

At this the whole table stopped eating and gave up on pretending not to be listening, they swung their heads round to see Seth's face. Seth automatically dropped his low fiddling with his spoon as he tried to drown what remained of his cereal.

"Ryan! Ryan Cohen? You should be sitting with your own group move please!" A cheery camper called out.

Standing up slowly Ryan made his way over to his table slowly, dropping down into his chair his eyes stayed dazed.

All that he could think was, "I can't believe Seth was kissed before me!"

* * *

There you go final chapter for a while although I know it has been ages sinceI last updated.

Look forward to hearing your suggestions for future chapters so please review and help me brainstorm.


End file.
